The first definition found on urbandictionary.com for family is, "A bunch of people who hate each other and eat dinner together." I've never found a definition to leave me speechless out of complete shock because its the word-for-word definition I would give a word before. First time for everything, no?
For me, family is one of those things that I avoid at all costs. I avoid talking to about 99% of my family members and I avoid family functions 100%. I'm more likely to get dragged to one of Mark's family functions, where I'll beg to stay in the car or try and make excuses to avoid, than I am to attend a function with my own family. As far as I'm concerned my family has too many politics and no sense of privacy, which I value above everything else.
I don't think that everything wrong I've ever done needs to be broadcasted to every family member, and the more distant the family member is the more I feel like its becoming gossip. The more family members begin to act like teenagers, the farther and farther I feel like pushing myself away from them. It's an unfortunate event, but sharing genetic markers does not give you a get out of jail free card in my book. Sharing events in your life is supposed to be something that brings a family together, not something that tears them apart. But unfortunately the only things that bring us together are shared grief and shared enjoyment, and any time the event draws opposing feelings it's a lot like a putting two magnets with the same poles together. It just pushes them away from each other with an invisible force.
The nuclear family isn't what it used to be, and that's pretty disappointing. Long gone are the days where the family was a single unit no matter what, and we ignored the things we didn't like. Now matters like sexuality, political standing, and life choices are becoming the current things to talk about, and the more that some of us are coming together, the fiercer the other half rips apart.
The most disappointing degradation of the family era is how the politics have evolved so far. Now, it's not about forgetting to call home and being surprised by a phone call from home. Now communication and assistance are determined by what can be gained in return. As a family you shouldn't be trying to get something from each other, or show that you deserve more respect or have more knowledge, or attempt to wield more power. I thought that being in the 21st century would be above that, but instead we're acting within our families like the European monarchies.
I think it's time for us to get back our old world sensibilities, and act the way we should. Act the way we know that families should, and just love unconditionally. We should treat our families with the same sanctity and respect that we treat those who have passed on, and we should conduct them within vows much like those used traditionally with marriage. Let's move forward, not backward. To those of us who haven't started our adult lives, let's behave in a manner that's civilized and start the revolution of the family era.
Love, Polly.
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