If you feel like you're floating around life with no ambition or sense of direction, I'm with you sometimes. Mostly just when I'm lying in bed trying to motivate myself for the next morning. I have to take time to remind myself why I'm working so hard and what I'm working towards. Not only do I want everything possible from my life, I'm determined to fulfill those wants and have everything possible in my life. But what gets me at night and ruins my confidence and sense of purpose is losing sight of my life goals. When I can no longer seem to find or even know that what I'm doing makes a difference to how my life is going to continue is when I really need to re inventory my life goals.
I'm one of those people that just needs to be able to see the grass on the other side the whole time that I'm climbing the fence. I don't want to see the piles of dog poop in neat little coils on the ground and I won't until I step in them. But if you take away the grass, I'm lost. I don't know where I'm going or why I'm going at all. I need that goal, that justification that I'm taking all my steps in the right direction, no matter what direction it happens to be. I don't want the grass you're walking to, I need to see the grass that I spotted, my grass. I don't want your grass, if I wanted your grass I would have to taken it already. I actually want my grass, and I don't want you or anyone else taking my grass away.
Think of the grass I'm talking about like you would think about life goals. You don't want someone else's life goals, those are less fulfilling and if you wanted them you would have already been in that direction from the get-go. And those little brown coils of poop on the ground are just the land mines that seem to plague all of us, the little explosions that we aren't expecting, and by their very existence make our lives just a little more complicated. But we need to have the grass, we need to see the life goals. We're not happy merely with being anymore, it's not how as a society or as a person we function. We need to see the grass, because we're jaded and we don't believe anything exists without empirical evidence that it truly exists in our reality.
And don't believe that just because it's the grass two feet away that it will be easy to get there. Maybe it's two feet away but that's because there is a two-foot wall between you and it. To get there you might have to go many other directions. A life goal isn't simply what you chose it to be right now, it's always going to be there even if what the goal is changes. The gate might move, but you'll find it if you keep the grass in sight. And there is no wrong way for you to live your life and define it and your goals for it, just the way you do it.
Love, Polly.
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