I'm not sure if every one has heard the fable of the ant and the grasshopper, but I think it's a powerful story. If you haven't, here's a short version of it to look at : The Ant and the Grasshopper.
The moral of the story is a strong point that we should really consider more in our lives, " It is best to prepare for the days of necessity. " As normal everyday people, we don't have psychic visions that depict what will go on in the next twenty-four hours. We don't foresee the events in life that we could so easily be prepared for, in our relationships with others and ourself, in our emotions, in our finances, in any of our life. In all honesty, the markers are always in front of our eyes. Our refusal to see them for ourself does not in any means mean they're invisible to the naked eye or that they don't exist. And it's the refusal to see them that makes things so much harder for us to bear in the long run.
In our relationships with friends, we may recognize that our texts and phone calls aren't being answered. But most of the time we fail to realize that we aren't taking the time to be good friends ourselves. We're being dishonest or unavailable for them. Maybe we're patronizing or taking advantage of all the good things we can get from someone else without giving back to them. Sometimes we're fair weather friends. It takes a lot for someone to admit they aren't giving all of themselves that they can give, but it takes so much more for someone to truly recognize it and admit it with the conviction you need to really get somewhere with it.
For many of us, we live for our romantic relationships. We are in love with the free fall of falling in love, but we despise the crash we face afterwards. We feel shocked when the first figurative punch lands, and then hurt and angry while the sting prevails. Naturally, the inability to notice the markers that say, "This is the beginning of an end" is something that's strongly associated with women. We're the ones that are so honestly awestruck in the end of what we feel is a perfectly good relationship and find it time to proclaim, "But things were going so well, I don't know what happened!" Ladies, stop for a second. You know what happened, and again we're going to loop back to the last section. It takes some serious cohones to just say, "I'm screwing up." It takes some even bigger cohones to mean it and do something about it.
As far as relationships go, the signs are there but it's up to us as individuals to pick them up. You can't just sit around and hope for the best. Relationships (both platonic and romantic) take work, and communication, and even more so an understanding. If you've seen the movie Gothika, then think back to the scene after Miranda first talks to Chloe and then goes to see her husband. He tells her to look in a mirror and then throws a glass of water at it. Well, if you're Miranda, which mirror are you looking at? The clear mirror? Or the mirror with water distorting it? If you're being surprised, then you need to dry off your mirror and look again. And keep drying, and keep looking until you can really see what's going on.
Finances are where things get tricky, and it's a different kind of preparedness you need to consider. As consumers, most of us live paycheck to paycheck. We save very little, if at all, and we tap into the savings constantly. Even worse than that is the way we lie to ourselves about how we'll save the extra money we earn when we see ourselves with a raise. Also, money doesn't need to burn a hole in your pockets. For alot of us, there is some little thing that we buy all the time that does it for us. For me, it's cigarettes. For you, it could be coffee, shoes, anything. Find what it is, and learn some self-control. Save the money you would have spent and I promise you, this will be rewarding later. When you go bankrupt, think about how the five dollars you spent on a latte would be REALLY useful right now, in fact. Think of the latte you bought every day for the last several months, and think about how all those dollars could be really useful.
I'm so sorry for the people in the rare occasion that honestly are blind sighted and have the ability to be 100% realistic with their lives. For the less ignorant, keep this one idea in mind. Those who are prepared for disaster often survive it.
Love, Polly.
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