On the way back from the track this weekend during the three hour drive, a comedian came on that brought up an interesting question. Most of us tend to fill our lives with the same kinds of people; their names and faces might change, but at heart they're all the same. The question he posed was, "Are we seeking these people, or are we attracting them?"
I like eclectic people in my life, the kind of people that you can't really tell if you found them, if they found you, or if the world just threw you together like that. I like to think we aroused each other's interest initially and we decided we were attracted mutually to the idea of letting each other into our lives. I know that when I do decide that someone is interesting and that I would like them to be in my life after initial contact has been made, I make an effort to at least talk to them. Facebook is the best example so far, many of the people on my facebook are people I had a class with in high school or know vaguely from other people. I don't know some of the people on it in an intimate manner, but I find that if I see them online I might say hello through the chat function, or vice versa. We're already exposed to each other, and I've already decided that I have found something worth pursuing from them at this point.
But I think that it's a combination of seeking and attracting. I know that several of the friends I have now are a result of them being attracted to me, either physically or intellectually. The male friends I have are no coincidence, the reason we're so close now is because they found me and decided that I should be in their lives. Granted, I keep them all in an entirely platonic folder now since I'm very happily involved. Nonetheless, they sought me, I did not seek them out. For whatever reason, they've all been happy to move me from a romantic interest to a platonic interest, and I'm very pleased with the transition.
I don't think there is any answer to whether we seek or attract the kinds of people in our lives, but in my life there is a combination of both. I seek out eclectic people that I think are interesting and tend to have a probational period with them. Should they progress past that period without exposing a fatal flaw they'll be anchored into my life for an extended period of time, if not for life. On the other hand, I tend to be sought by a different kind of person, and if I pass their inspection or examination, I'm anchored into their lives. Being sought and seeking bring to my life a certain fullness I couldn't have expected from solely seeking or attracting. I only seek a single type of person, and I'm glad I'm sought by a different group. I don't think it really matters if you seek or attract, as long as the people in your life bring positive things to it. It's important to recognize the negative things, of course. But why not embrace the good that comes from just having the interactions with others?
Love, Polly.
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