We all have that stupid friend frustrates us because they won't grow up and handle responsibility. There are so many ways that irresponsibility is fostered it's no wonder they exist either. Just a fact of life that we have to accept no matter what goes on. Sometimes they even have the gall to tell us that we're being irresponsible with our lives as well, and we can't see where they happen to get off saying those things.
Being the friend who won't grow up, the friend who thinks they're all grown up, or just the person who is all grown up doesn't mean that we're ever in a place to judge anyone else really. I'm not really sure of my religious stand point yet, so I'm not going to be the person that says, "Only God can judge". But I'm considering the fact that there will always be the friend who won't grow up or who thinks they're all grown up, and not always the person who is all grown up.
But it doesn't really matter which of them you are in the long run, life runs it's course and you'll just have to deal with things as they come. For the people who won't grow up, they find ways to enable that, be it through their parents or other people. Maybe they just didn't learn the lessons that they need in order to mature more. And for the people who think they're all grown up, well that's great for them. If they're not, eventually they'll fall upon a hard time that will force some kind of growth, we hope. I've never met a person who could always say that they were all grown up, and had become everything they wanted to be. Even Bill Gates wants to be a person in a perfect, healthy, livable world. He has money beyond the imaginable, and he still goes to help those who are less fortunate. Something inside him says, I am not yet the person I want to be and I cannot be that person until the world is functioning in a way that allows that. Not to say that he's unfulfilled or unhappy. I'm sure that he experiences both those pleasures. But something compels him to do those things, and that is the knowledge that the world is not in a state that he can be the person he would love to be in it.
As with each variation of persons, there is a variety of ways to handle it. You can complain or try to help foster the things that you believe that person should have. Personally, I think the only way to combat any of the issues with irresponsibility is to work yourself. Strive to mature, mature your thinking, mature your beliefs, and mature your moral and ethical code. The body matures at it's own pace and there is little you can do outside of wishing or hoping on your own to help spur the process. The mind is different, when you expand it, you grow. With growth comes maturity. I'm going to strive to grow, and I'm going to strive to be better in all the ways that I can. Instead of complaining or badmouthing, I'm going to push myself to show the most responsibility I've ever shown in life. Self-responsibility and social responsibility, together.
Love,
Polly.
April 28, 2010
April 28, 2010: Franzia, because wine in a box is more environmentally friendly!
A friend of ours came by not too long ago and brought a box of Franzia over with her. It's been sitting on my desk all week since she left it there, and I keep reading the side panel of it where it lists all it's ecological achievements. They are as follows.
But I digress, the environment is definitely something that people should really consider now. Before, we didn't have the knowledge that we do now, and we should move forward. A lot of people say, "Oh, I recycle my cans" or "I use reusable bags at the grocery store". Well a fat lot of good that does when you're driving your HUMMER across country for whatever stupid reason you've got.
We should stop undoing the good we're doing, because it looks like for every step forward we take, we also take a half step back. It's really important that we continue to learn more about our environment, how to take care of it, and more economical ways to live our lives. But at the same time, we need to incorporate those things on a daily basis. We're not going to save the world tomorrow, of course not. But every step backwards we take is just going to make it take longer.
Also, stop looking at band-aid solutions. Really think about what you're doing and whether there might be a better, friendlier alternative. I'm not saying I don't love reusable bags or recycling, but maybe getting a friendlier car to drive around town in might be a better idea? Not only that, but it'll save you some money.
Nowadays, it's easier on your pocket in the long run to be environmentally friendly. But if you think for just a second, is that two extra seconds it's going to take you really that bad anyway?
Love, Polly.
- Significantly less CO2 emissions
- Significantly less packaging waste
- Smaller carbon footprint
- Less wine waste
But I digress, the environment is definitely something that people should really consider now. Before, we didn't have the knowledge that we do now, and we should move forward. A lot of people say, "Oh, I recycle my cans" or "I use reusable bags at the grocery store". Well a fat lot of good that does when you're driving your HUMMER across country for whatever stupid reason you've got.
We should stop undoing the good we're doing, because it looks like for every step forward we take, we also take a half step back. It's really important that we continue to learn more about our environment, how to take care of it, and more economical ways to live our lives. But at the same time, we need to incorporate those things on a daily basis. We're not going to save the world tomorrow, of course not. But every step backwards we take is just going to make it take longer.
Also, stop looking at band-aid solutions. Really think about what you're doing and whether there might be a better, friendlier alternative. I'm not saying I don't love reusable bags or recycling, but maybe getting a friendlier car to drive around town in might be a better idea? Not only that, but it'll save you some money.
Nowadays, it's easier on your pocket in the long run to be environmentally friendly. But if you think for just a second, is that two extra seconds it's going to take you really that bad anyway?
Love, Polly.
April 26, 2010
April 27,2010: Letting go
Letting go is always the hardest part of everything, but it's very likely the most important part of surviving in our world. With all the things we put ourselves through, and all the things that occur to us on a daily basis we really need to learn to find our grace under pressure. So much of the time we spend brooding because we're angry, frustrated, or hurt we could be spending doing things that we love or things that we find fulfilling.
In relationships, if you only consider the awful things that happen you don't learn from them. You brood darkly and it hurts every relationship you have in the future. As each relationship progresses, you begin to focus on the similarities that hurt you before. Pretty soon you only have eyes for what could go wrong, for the bad things. Then it becomes the only thing you notice in your life. Practice leads to permanence, and if you practice bad perception then it becomes all you see. You'll never have a good, lasting, stable relationship if you're too busy looking for ways that it will fail.
Friendships fall under much the same vein as relationships, and this particular point is no exception. It's best to value the good in all your relationships including friendship, even if they don't last. That way you won't be prone to pointing out the annoying little things and have them take over, and instead point out the fabulous things that you enjoy so much about them. Part of being in relationships (platonic and romantic) is maintenance, and any decent self-help book can tell you that if you feel like your relationship is failing you need to make sure that it's not your fault, too.
Value the good in yourself, the good in each other, and the great things that could come from that. I'm not saying ignore any bad things that give you the opportunity for growth, but change the things you can't and let the things you can't be.
Love, Polly.
In relationships, if you only consider the awful things that happen you don't learn from them. You brood darkly and it hurts every relationship you have in the future. As each relationship progresses, you begin to focus on the similarities that hurt you before. Pretty soon you only have eyes for what could go wrong, for the bad things. Then it becomes the only thing you notice in your life. Practice leads to permanence, and if you practice bad perception then it becomes all you see. You'll never have a good, lasting, stable relationship if you're too busy looking for ways that it will fail.
Friendships fall under much the same vein as relationships, and this particular point is no exception. It's best to value the good in all your relationships including friendship, even if they don't last. That way you won't be prone to pointing out the annoying little things and have them take over, and instead point out the fabulous things that you enjoy so much about them. Part of being in relationships (platonic and romantic) is maintenance, and any decent self-help book can tell you that if you feel like your relationship is failing you need to make sure that it's not your fault, too.
Value the good in yourself, the good in each other, and the great things that could come from that. I'm not saying ignore any bad things that give you the opportunity for growth, but change the things you can't and let the things you can't be.
Love, Polly.
April 26, 2010: On being asked if female drivers were as strong as their male counterparts - You drive the car, you don't carry it.
[Janet Guthrie-quote as title]
Growing up in this era of equal opportunity and gender equality, I've long been taught of the struggles of gender and race. I have no stories of true struggle or strife in regards to them. Instead, I only have the misconceptions of a young, wet behind the ears lady thrown into the auto-sport world. I've had a few glancing touches before, like when you accidentally brush shoulders with a stranger in public. But I'll be honest, I'm not of the mechanical mind and I would prefer (infinitely) the so called "softer sciences".
After my first brush with deathly illness (this is an exaggeration, but it sure didn't feel like one) at Cal Speedway, I'd vowed to never again be talked into coming out. Not for anyone, not for anything. Since then, I'm glad I've changed my mind.
My second encounter was much more smooth although it did blow any preconceived notion out of my mind. I made my debut at Miller Motorsports Park as the "Driver's girlfriend" for NASA's
National Championship Event 2009, and it's been an experience I wouldn't trade for the world. I was afraid I wouldn't fit in since I didn't know anything or anyone, and that being so far away from home for a week would be boring since the only involvement I had was sitting on top of the garages biting my nails during the races.But I was pleasantly surprised by how wrong I was.
At first, I'd been warned that there wouldn't be very many women out, that there never are. We must have been very lucky because in the garage next to us there was another "Driver's girlfriend" and in the week we were there we made friends very quickly. The ratio of men to women definitely favored the men, but all in all I didn't feel like a zebra in the city. In fact, many of them had levels of involvement I can hardly fathom, and each event seems to enforce that in my mind.
Since then, I've managed to come a long way. I've gone to every event since, learned a bit about hubs, axles, tires, and other car related things. I've also experienced SEMA, my first endurance race, and participated in tire changing. Honestly, I couldn't be more shocked at how involved I'm becoming with racing as a sport. But I can't say I don't enjoy every second of it. The best part is that my involvement as more than just the "Driver's girlfriend" helps him out too. We've had women come over and say how great it is to see women actually out there helping out, and taking pictures. But even more than that, it's nice to know that no one else notices that I'm a woman, they treat me as an unlearned person. Everything they teach me is just dragging me farther into their life and passion, and making it mine. I don't mind at all.
Love, Polly.
Growing up in this era of equal opportunity and gender equality, I've long been taught of the struggles of gender and race. I have no stories of true struggle or strife in regards to them. Instead, I only have the misconceptions of a young, wet behind the ears lady thrown into the auto-sport world. I've had a few glancing touches before, like when you accidentally brush shoulders with a stranger in public. But I'll be honest, I'm not of the mechanical mind and I would prefer (infinitely) the so called "softer sciences".
After my first brush with deathly illness (this is an exaggeration, but it sure didn't feel like one) at Cal Speedway, I'd vowed to never again be talked into coming out. Not for anyone, not for anything. Since then, I'm glad I've changed my mind.
My second encounter was much more smooth although it did blow any preconceived notion out of my mind. I made my debut at Miller Motorsports Park as the "Driver's girlfriend" for NASA's
National Championship Event 2009, and it's been an experience I wouldn't trade for the world. I was afraid I wouldn't fit in since I didn't know anything or anyone, and that being so far away from home for a week would be boring since the only involvement I had was sitting on top of the garages biting my nails during the races.But I was pleasantly surprised by how wrong I was.
At first, I'd been warned that there wouldn't be very many women out, that there never are. We must have been very lucky because in the garage next to us there was another "Driver's girlfriend" and in the week we were there we made friends very quickly. The ratio of men to women definitely favored the men, but all in all I didn't feel like a zebra in the city. In fact, many of them had levels of involvement I can hardly fathom, and each event seems to enforce that in my mind.
Since then, I've managed to come a long way. I've gone to every event since, learned a bit about hubs, axles, tires, and other car related things. I've also experienced SEMA, my first endurance race, and participated in tire changing. Honestly, I couldn't be more shocked at how involved I'm becoming with racing as a sport. But I can't say I don't enjoy every second of it. The best part is that my involvement as more than just the "Driver's girlfriend" helps him out too. We've had women come over and say how great it is to see women actually out there helping out, and taking pictures. But even more than that, it's nice to know that no one else notices that I'm a woman, they treat me as an unlearned person. Everything they teach me is just dragging me farther into their life and passion, and making it mine. I don't mind at all.
Love, Polly.
April 25, 2010
April 25, 2010: Overworked, overwhelmed, and overdoing it.
There are really two kinds of people in the world, those who handle stressful situations with all the grace they can muster and those who lack any kind of grace at all. When you're forced to decide how important things are and overwhelmed by a list that is always growing, it's important to know your limitations and boundaries. I can't count on my fingers (or even my toes) how many times I've gone overboard with to-do lists. I'm the kind of person that lists every single step of the way, so that something as simple as "cleaning the desk" becomes a seventy step job. As my list grows and things start to take longer and longer because I'm finding more detailed steps to add, I get overwhelmed by the sheer immensity of the list and at a certain point I cease functioning in a rational and productive manner.
I love t0-do lists, probably more than the average person does. My lists look like they contain every single motion or action that one specific broad statement like "clean the bedroom" could be encompassed by. The longer the list gets the more fanatical I am about adding things and the less time I spend actually doing any real work. As the afternoon progresses, I find that I'm going to at some point just give up and start ignoring larger things and do the bare minimum.
It isn't a problem to do something thoroughly and in a manner you can be proud of, but it's a problem to start acting as OCD compulsive as the TV character Adrian Monk. You shouldn't have to bleach every section of your house minute spot by minute spot until you're one hundred percent sure that you've covered every single place. When you become so overly detailed, even the smallest jobs turn into Mt. Everest like adventures, where success and completion are things that few people in the world can obtain.
To really find success, it's important to pace yourself and force yourself to understand the merits of a job well done and not overly done. The difference seems like it's just in the details and that a job overly done is still a job well done. Well, when it's something that you're expecting to do repetitively, why would you want to burn yourself out and never want to do them again? That's not fair to yourself, to take away your enjoyment in something because you're failing to exercise self-control. When you enjoy the work you're putting yourself through, you can't seem to get enough of it. But a lot like a much loved sweater or blanket as a child, suddenly those things aren't so wonderful when you become in an adult. Granted that's much to do with emotional, mental, and physical growth as well as the inevitable wear and tear, the end result is still the same.
Not only do you stop enjoying the things you're doing, it's bad for you in other ways as well. Most people develop a poor habit to encourage them to continue on with a behavior they no longer enjoy. When I'm feeling burnt out on writing or any of the other things I do, I start to chain smoke. There go my lungs, as well as the passion and the intensity of really loving and enjoying what I'm doing. That and you can tell, the work you're doing might become sloppy, eventually, unacceptable.
The big deal here is that practice makes permanent, so make yourself practice pacing yourself so that you will always enjoy the things you do. Take the time to do them well, but not overly so. Moderate yourself, you'll be happier, you'll do better, and progress is always directly correlated with morale. So concentrate on helping yourself maintain high morale, it's in your best interest.
Love, Polly.
I love t0-do lists, probably more than the average person does. My lists look like they contain every single motion or action that one specific broad statement like "clean the bedroom" could be encompassed by. The longer the list gets the more fanatical I am about adding things and the less time I spend actually doing any real work. As the afternoon progresses, I find that I'm going to at some point just give up and start ignoring larger things and do the bare minimum.
It isn't a problem to do something thoroughly and in a manner you can be proud of, but it's a problem to start acting as OCD compulsive as the TV character Adrian Monk. You shouldn't have to bleach every section of your house minute spot by minute spot until you're one hundred percent sure that you've covered every single place. When you become so overly detailed, even the smallest jobs turn into Mt. Everest like adventures, where success and completion are things that few people in the world can obtain.
To really find success, it's important to pace yourself and force yourself to understand the merits of a job well done and not overly done. The difference seems like it's just in the details and that a job overly done is still a job well done. Well, when it's something that you're expecting to do repetitively, why would you want to burn yourself out and never want to do them again? That's not fair to yourself, to take away your enjoyment in something because you're failing to exercise self-control. When you enjoy the work you're putting yourself through, you can't seem to get enough of it. But a lot like a much loved sweater or blanket as a child, suddenly those things aren't so wonderful when you become in an adult. Granted that's much to do with emotional, mental, and physical growth as well as the inevitable wear and tear, the end result is still the same.
Not only do you stop enjoying the things you're doing, it's bad for you in other ways as well. Most people develop a poor habit to encourage them to continue on with a behavior they no longer enjoy. When I'm feeling burnt out on writing or any of the other things I do, I start to chain smoke. There go my lungs, as well as the passion and the intensity of really loving and enjoying what I'm doing. That and you can tell, the work you're doing might become sloppy, eventually, unacceptable.
The big deal here is that practice makes permanent, so make yourself practice pacing yourself so that you will always enjoy the things you do. Take the time to do them well, but not overly so. Moderate yourself, you'll be happier, you'll do better, and progress is always directly correlated with morale. So concentrate on helping yourself maintain high morale, it's in your best interest.
Love, Polly.
April 24, 2010
April 24, 2010: Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
Prom season is coming up and I remember so clearly how I spent the last six hours of my prom night. Belligerently drunk to a level I had been unable to reach ever before. But hey, free booze does that to a girl. Now, I didn't do anything stupid that night, and I didn't drive nor did anyone else. We were as responsible as you could consider a group of just graduated high schoolers, and that was fine by me. In fact, it's still fine by me, and it will always be fine by me.
I don't see a problem with letting loose one night a week, having some wine with a group of girlfriends, or enjoying a beer after a long day at the track. My tolerance is still fairly low, and by most standards I tend to be a lightweight when it comes down to it. Granted there are some nights where I go a little bit farther than I need to. Even though I cut myself off at a point others think is fairly early in the night, I still have my stories of nights where I had one too many.
The problem I have isn't so much with only underage drinkers, because it's something that even those who are of age do. The problem unfolds in two parts, first being the inability to exercise self-control, and secondly using alcohol to excuse bad behavior.
We all know that one person that goes above and beyond and makes a fool of themselves every time they end up drinking. They always have to drink too fast, too much, and end up doing something stupid that makes you think you're in high school again. They become "that one drunk girl / guy", and the truth is they really do know what they're doing, they just don't care. They think the story will be funny enough in the morning or whatever it is. Well, if this is you, please stop. You know that you don't have to do the things you're doing and that the ideas you're getting really aren't that great. Exercise some self-control and reign yourself in, you don't really need a baby sitter and you don't need to be the center of attention. If you've hit the point where you do, then you're heading on a fast track to being one of the persons that makes America a little less great.
My second issue is using alcohol to excuse poor behaviors, especially the behaviors you should have utilized self-control with and didn't. "I was drunk" or "I don't remember, I was sooo fucked up" is not an acceptable excuse for poor behavior. Even worse is when they say, "I know I shouldn't have kept going, but I did anyway". If you know you're at your limit, then stop. Not just for your dignity and composure, but there go your kidneys and liver, and I hope you enjoy having your stomach pumped.
I'd love to see a comeback of the times where sharing just a drink or two with some close friends in an intimate and private setting is how we're drinking. It should be something that brings us together on a more intimate level, not something that we do in excess of excess. Binge drinking until you vomit should stop being the trend, and responsibility and accountability should be held for going past your limits.
Love, Polly.
I don't see a problem with letting loose one night a week, having some wine with a group of girlfriends, or enjoying a beer after a long day at the track. My tolerance is still fairly low, and by most standards I tend to be a lightweight when it comes down to it. Granted there are some nights where I go a little bit farther than I need to. Even though I cut myself off at a point others think is fairly early in the night, I still have my stories of nights where I had one too many.
The problem I have isn't so much with only underage drinkers, because it's something that even those who are of age do. The problem unfolds in two parts, first being the inability to exercise self-control, and secondly using alcohol to excuse bad behavior.
We all know that one person that goes above and beyond and makes a fool of themselves every time they end up drinking. They always have to drink too fast, too much, and end up doing something stupid that makes you think you're in high school again. They become "that one drunk girl / guy", and the truth is they really do know what they're doing, they just don't care. They think the story will be funny enough in the morning or whatever it is. Well, if this is you, please stop. You know that you don't have to do the things you're doing and that the ideas you're getting really aren't that great. Exercise some self-control and reign yourself in, you don't really need a baby sitter and you don't need to be the center of attention. If you've hit the point where you do, then you're heading on a fast track to being one of the persons that makes America a little less great.
My second issue is using alcohol to excuse poor behaviors, especially the behaviors you should have utilized self-control with and didn't. "I was drunk" or "I don't remember, I was sooo fucked up" is not an acceptable excuse for poor behavior. Even worse is when they say, "I know I shouldn't have kept going, but I did anyway". If you know you're at your limit, then stop. Not just for your dignity and composure, but there go your kidneys and liver, and I hope you enjoy having your stomach pumped.
I'd love to see a comeback of the times where sharing just a drink or two with some close friends in an intimate and private setting is how we're drinking. It should be something that brings us together on a more intimate level, not something that we do in excess of excess. Binge drinking until you vomit should stop being the trend, and responsibility and accountability should be held for going past your limits.
Love, Polly.
April 23, 2010
April 23, 2010: Deliver what you promise.
We've all seen the commercial with the couple in bed separated by their lawyers. The point to the commercial is that whatever wireless company it is won't screw you over with contracts. I'm not going to get into how reading and clarifying a contract is your responsibility before you sign them today. (Even if it's something that drives me crazy, but still, I'm saving that for another day.)
Contracts used to be the way to force someone to keep their word legally, because you didn't trust them or because you couldn't be sure that their word would be kept in their absence of presence. And sometimes it was just to make sure that someone wasn't being slick with their word choice. They were just meant to be a binding legal document that showed each party AGREED to something.
I don't know where that started to change and when people started using contracts in just a malevolent manner. I'm not talking about people being stupid about signing things and not reading them and clarifying where they don't understand.
But contracts themselves are becoming more and more tricky to follow, and in a way they're forcing a lack of trust amongst ourselves. Even worse is when the agreement isn't followed through. If you can't agree to something on principle, then why would you agree to it? But this inability to be reliable when it comes to things that can be proven (i.e. legal contracts) is just another way of our unreliability as people manifesting.
Long gone are the days where a man's word was what he was worth, and for some reason just being able to say something even if you are completely aware that there is no way you can follow through is acceptable. Networking is such a great art now, even more than ever, because it comes down to finding the persons to connect with that will follow through with everything they say. Even worse is when we look to people around us, our family and friends that support us, and having them flake out on us. It's probably the number one pet peeve of most Americans and the biggest relationship-ender in the books aside from dishonesty and mistrust.
I'd really love to see us go back to a time when your word was everything, and you did your best to follow through with what you could. Reliability is something that we can't take for granted anymore, and we should be able to take each other at face value instead of putting everyone through tests and trials. If we all take one day to make a list of all the things we've ever promised and go through that list to finish the things we gave our word we would do, the world would function in a much more efficient manner. I'm tired of seeing people being disappointed because a persons word has to be tested, and it pains me to know that for every one person that manages to succeed a million more are disappointing. Following through has never been so important, and if we start small we can work big. Now is the time for us to start changing, because we've all seen how difficult life has become as a result of our current decline. Something to think about, how are you going to follow through with one thing today?
Love, Polly.
Contracts used to be the way to force someone to keep their word legally, because you didn't trust them or because you couldn't be sure that their word would be kept in their absence of presence. And sometimes it was just to make sure that someone wasn't being slick with their word choice. They were just meant to be a binding legal document that showed each party AGREED to something.
I don't know where that started to change and when people started using contracts in just a malevolent manner. I'm not talking about people being stupid about signing things and not reading them and clarifying where they don't understand.
But contracts themselves are becoming more and more tricky to follow, and in a way they're forcing a lack of trust amongst ourselves. Even worse is when the agreement isn't followed through. If you can't agree to something on principle, then why would you agree to it? But this inability to be reliable when it comes to things that can be proven (i.e. legal contracts) is just another way of our unreliability as people manifesting.
Long gone are the days where a man's word was what he was worth, and for some reason just being able to say something even if you are completely aware that there is no way you can follow through is acceptable. Networking is such a great art now, even more than ever, because it comes down to finding the persons to connect with that will follow through with everything they say. Even worse is when we look to people around us, our family and friends that support us, and having them flake out on us. It's probably the number one pet peeve of most Americans and the biggest relationship-ender in the books aside from dishonesty and mistrust.
I'd really love to see us go back to a time when your word was everything, and you did your best to follow through with what you could. Reliability is something that we can't take for granted anymore, and we should be able to take each other at face value instead of putting everyone through tests and trials. If we all take one day to make a list of all the things we've ever promised and go through that list to finish the things we gave our word we would do, the world would function in a much more efficient manner. I'm tired of seeing people being disappointed because a persons word has to be tested, and it pains me to know that for every one person that manages to succeed a million more are disappointing. Following through has never been so important, and if we start small we can work big. Now is the time for us to start changing, because we've all seen how difficult life has become as a result of our current decline. Something to think about, how are you going to follow through with one thing today?
Love, Polly.
April 22, 2010
April 22, 2010: If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion.
The first definition found on urbandictionary.com for family is, "A bunch of people who hate each other and eat dinner together." I've never found a definition to leave me speechless out of complete shock because its the word-for-word definition I would give a word before. First time for everything, no?
For me, family is one of those things that I avoid at all costs. I avoid talking to about 99% of my family members and I avoid family functions 100%. I'm more likely to get dragged to one of Mark's family functions, where I'll beg to stay in the car or try and make excuses to avoid, than I am to attend a function with my own family. As far as I'm concerned my family has too many politics and no sense of privacy, which I value above everything else.
I don't think that everything wrong I've ever done needs to be broadcasted to every family member, and the more distant the family member is the more I feel like its becoming gossip. The more family members begin to act like teenagers, the farther and farther I feel like pushing myself away from them. It's an unfortunate event, but sharing genetic markers does not give you a get out of jail free card in my book. Sharing events in your life is supposed to be something that brings a family together, not something that tears them apart. But unfortunately the only things that bring us together are shared grief and shared enjoyment, and any time the event draws opposing feelings it's a lot like a putting two magnets with the same poles together. It just pushes them away from each other with an invisible force.
The nuclear family isn't what it used to be, and that's pretty disappointing. Long gone are the days where the family was a single unit no matter what, and we ignored the things we didn't like. Now matters like sexuality, political standing, and life choices are becoming the current things to talk about, and the more that some of us are coming together, the fiercer the other half rips apart.
The most disappointing degradation of the family era is how the politics have evolved so far. Now, it's not about forgetting to call home and being surprised by a phone call from home. Now communication and assistance are determined by what can be gained in return. As a family you shouldn't be trying to get something from each other, or show that you deserve more respect or have more knowledge, or attempt to wield more power. I thought that being in the 21st century would be above that, but instead we're acting within our families like the European monarchies.
I think it's time for us to get back our old world sensibilities, and act the way we should. Act the way we know that families should, and just love unconditionally. We should treat our families with the same sanctity and respect that we treat those who have passed on, and we should conduct them within vows much like those used traditionally with marriage. Let's move forward, not backward. To those of us who haven't started our adult lives, let's behave in a manner that's civilized and start the revolution of the family era.
Love, Polly.
For me, family is one of those things that I avoid at all costs. I avoid talking to about 99% of my family members and I avoid family functions 100%. I'm more likely to get dragged to one of Mark's family functions, where I'll beg to stay in the car or try and make excuses to avoid, than I am to attend a function with my own family. As far as I'm concerned my family has too many politics and no sense of privacy, which I value above everything else.
I don't think that everything wrong I've ever done needs to be broadcasted to every family member, and the more distant the family member is the more I feel like its becoming gossip. The more family members begin to act like teenagers, the farther and farther I feel like pushing myself away from them. It's an unfortunate event, but sharing genetic markers does not give you a get out of jail free card in my book. Sharing events in your life is supposed to be something that brings a family together, not something that tears them apart. But unfortunately the only things that bring us together are shared grief and shared enjoyment, and any time the event draws opposing feelings it's a lot like a putting two magnets with the same poles together. It just pushes them away from each other with an invisible force.
The nuclear family isn't what it used to be, and that's pretty disappointing. Long gone are the days where the family was a single unit no matter what, and we ignored the things we didn't like. Now matters like sexuality, political standing, and life choices are becoming the current things to talk about, and the more that some of us are coming together, the fiercer the other half rips apart.
The most disappointing degradation of the family era is how the politics have evolved so far. Now, it's not about forgetting to call home and being surprised by a phone call from home. Now communication and assistance are determined by what can be gained in return. As a family you shouldn't be trying to get something from each other, or show that you deserve more respect or have more knowledge, or attempt to wield more power. I thought that being in the 21st century would be above that, but instead we're acting within our families like the European monarchies.
I think it's time for us to get back our old world sensibilities, and act the way we should. Act the way we know that families should, and just love unconditionally. We should treat our families with the same sanctity and respect that we treat those who have passed on, and we should conduct them within vows much like those used traditionally with marriage. Let's move forward, not backward. To those of us who haven't started our adult lives, let's behave in a manner that's civilized and start the revolution of the family era.
Love, Polly.
April 21, 2010
April 21, 2010: Reefer Madness?
As yesterday was the infamous stoner holiday, "420" and I didn't post anything related in any way I thought I'd amend my mistake and bring it up today. I'm not part of the culture, but I'm not far from it either. It exists right here, on the street I live on, in the city I call home, in the state I love, and in this country I am part of. It exists world-wide and its existed through so many cultures, eras, life styles, and people that wherever I begin and end here will only be a a minute slice of the whole.
It's so unfair that there is so much misinformation and mis-education in the world, but I think that the case has never been so clear as it is with medical marijuana. Granted, there is so much being done right now that doesn't (and rightfully shouldn't) have a leg to stand on, as well as fallacies and improper usage.
The fact is that there are studies being ignored that should be headliners, there are more people than ever who have legitimate medical uses, and marijuana is the least harmful drug known to man. You cannot overdose as you can with things like aspirin, it is less harmful to your body than tobacco (which has NO medical use), and has anyone known a stoner to rob a bank? I didn't think so. For the most part, the culture isn't one that boasts of unmotivated slacker irresponsibility. Unfortunately, that's just a small part and it gives the whole culture a bad rap. For the cancer and AIDS patients who use MMJ (medical marijuana) to cope with the struggle that is their daily lives, and for the patients truly diagnosed with something that medicine can't yet cure I think that MMJ is something we should look at. It has the best long run set of pros and cons I've yet to see, and I pride myself on keeping up with medical updates.
Some people are going to read this and say, "But it causes cancer". My response is that smoke in general is pretty carcinogenic, but there are so many ways around that. There are people saying that creating edible versions of things with THC (the active compound for marijuana's effect) will just promote more recreational use. From my standpoint, things like edible goods and vaporizers cancel out the carcinogenic effects of the smoke and give the people who use MMJ for legitimate medical uses a safer way to use them. If we can say, "The only real medical reason to withhold product A is because of negative outcome B..." the way we do for other things, why don't we just accept that there are ways around cancer and allow marijuana to be used medically.
Another big issue that is becoming an excuse against legalization is public security and crime. According to recent polls, there is hardly anyone that believes that there is too little spending on marijuana control, and it has a lower statistical amount of violent crimes than regular burglaries,etc.
I guess it's all about the spin, so we should quit spinning and look at things the way they really are. When we stop spinning, things aren't so blurry, and we'll be able to see all the colors instead of a blur. Then we can make a decision that we can be informed and proud of making.
Love, Polly.
It's so unfair that there is so much misinformation and mis-education in the world, but I think that the case has never been so clear as it is with medical marijuana. Granted, there is so much being done right now that doesn't (and rightfully shouldn't) have a leg to stand on, as well as fallacies and improper usage.
The fact is that there are studies being ignored that should be headliners, there are more people than ever who have legitimate medical uses, and marijuana is the least harmful drug known to man. You cannot overdose as you can with things like aspirin, it is less harmful to your body than tobacco (which has NO medical use), and has anyone known a stoner to rob a bank? I didn't think so. For the most part, the culture isn't one that boasts of unmotivated slacker irresponsibility. Unfortunately, that's just a small part and it gives the whole culture a bad rap. For the cancer and AIDS patients who use MMJ (medical marijuana) to cope with the struggle that is their daily lives, and for the patients truly diagnosed with something that medicine can't yet cure I think that MMJ is something we should look at. It has the best long run set of pros and cons I've yet to see, and I pride myself on keeping up with medical updates.
Some people are going to read this and say, "But it causes cancer". My response is that smoke in general is pretty carcinogenic, but there are so many ways around that. There are people saying that creating edible versions of things with THC (the active compound for marijuana's effect) will just promote more recreational use. From my standpoint, things like edible goods and vaporizers cancel out the carcinogenic effects of the smoke and give the people who use MMJ for legitimate medical uses a safer way to use them. If we can say, "The only real medical reason to withhold product A is because of negative outcome B..." the way we do for other things, why don't we just accept that there are ways around cancer and allow marijuana to be used medically.
Another big issue that is becoming an excuse against legalization is public security and crime. According to recent polls, there is hardly anyone that believes that there is too little spending on marijuana control, and it has a lower statistical amount of violent crimes than regular burglaries,etc.
I guess it's all about the spin, so we should quit spinning and look at things the way they really are. When we stop spinning, things aren't so blurry, and we'll be able to see all the colors instead of a blur. Then we can make a decision that we can be informed and proud of making.
Love, Polly.
April 20, 2010
April 20, 2010: We're not really sentient beings.
Sometimes everyone just needs a break. Being burnt out is a point so easy to get to, and if you fight it out you might burn yourself out forever on things that you once enjoyed. I know that what I really burn myself out on is people, and that if you go too long burning yourself out on particular people you'll never really enjoy them again. At first, I start by feeling like I can't handle people at all and I turn into a complete recluse. I have no desire to converse with other people, or even be around them. My behaviors become erratic, my social skills deteriorate, and I begin to stop taking care of myself as well as I normally pride myself on doing. As a social being, I can't say that I like to wallow in the realm of the recluse, soon I begin to miss the world as it was before and the interaction that I love. I can't begin to pretend that I'm over my disinterest in people but at the same time I want to badly to be back in my social sphere. Unfortunately, if I press myself too far before I'm really ready it has the effect of just being a disappointment and I'm still as burnt out if not more as before I tried. Not only that, but the relationships that I try to renew myself with during that time take a hit that might not be recoverable from.
On one hand, it's very important to just take some time away from everything and really refresh yourself before you start trying again. But just going away and taking a time-out has the potential to be even more harmful than just pushing ahead. I don't like band-aid solutions, and just stepping outside seems to be a band-aid solution if it's the only solution. Instead, I like to think of it as just taking a little break to think outside of the box. It's important to think about why you end up so burnt out. For me, being burnt out is just how I feel after experiencing a really long working period. I know that if I'm working too much on something and just not understanding then I tend to be burnt out really fast. For me, I need to just find a new way to look at things to help me understand. If I just take a break and then come back and keep pushing in the same direction without any results still, it hurts me more than not taking that break.
The importance of stepping outside of yourself is so amazing in so many ways; it's the only real way to grow personally, morally, intellectually, and physically. As people when we're repetitive with anything too much we find not only diminishing marginal gain from something as well as that our bodies and minds begin to deteriorate from them. In order to continue to maximize our gain, we need to step away and find a new way to pursue.
The biggest and most difficult challenge in all this is just figuring out how you're going to step out of the box, and it's so imperative to be honest enough with yourself to know whether or not you're capable of giving yourself that other perspective. If you can't, look for someone else that thinks in a way that's different from yours, not parallel. You already know your way and it isn't working, but if you're ready to try someone else's, even if it feels awkward or stupid, I think you'll be in the right direction. And keep in mind that failure is just your way of weeding out the answers.
Love, Polly.
On one hand, it's very important to just take some time away from everything and really refresh yourself before you start trying again. But just going away and taking a time-out has the potential to be even more harmful than just pushing ahead. I don't like band-aid solutions, and just stepping outside seems to be a band-aid solution if it's the only solution. Instead, I like to think of it as just taking a little break to think outside of the box. It's important to think about why you end up so burnt out. For me, being burnt out is just how I feel after experiencing a really long working period. I know that if I'm working too much on something and just not understanding then I tend to be burnt out really fast. For me, I need to just find a new way to look at things to help me understand. If I just take a break and then come back and keep pushing in the same direction without any results still, it hurts me more than not taking that break.
The importance of stepping outside of yourself is so amazing in so many ways; it's the only real way to grow personally, morally, intellectually, and physically. As people when we're repetitive with anything too much we find not only diminishing marginal gain from something as well as that our bodies and minds begin to deteriorate from them. In order to continue to maximize our gain, we need to step away and find a new way to pursue.
The biggest and most difficult challenge in all this is just figuring out how you're going to step out of the box, and it's so imperative to be honest enough with yourself to know whether or not you're capable of giving yourself that other perspective. If you can't, look for someone else that thinks in a way that's different from yours, not parallel. You already know your way and it isn't working, but if you're ready to try someone else's, even if it feels awkward or stupid, I think you'll be in the right direction. And keep in mind that failure is just your way of weeding out the answers.
Love, Polly.
April 19, 2010
April 19, 2010: Are we seeking or attracting certain kinds of people?
On the way back from the track this weekend during the three hour drive, a comedian came on that brought up an interesting question. Most of us tend to fill our lives with the same kinds of people; their names and faces might change, but at heart they're all the same. The question he posed was, "Are we seeking these people, or are we attracting them?"
I like eclectic people in my life, the kind of people that you can't really tell if you found them, if they found you, or if the world just threw you together like that. I like to think we aroused each other's interest initially and we decided we were attracted mutually to the idea of letting each other into our lives. I know that when I do decide that someone is interesting and that I would like them to be in my life after initial contact has been made, I make an effort to at least talk to them. Facebook is the best example so far, many of the people on my facebook are people I had a class with in high school or know vaguely from other people. I don't know some of the people on it in an intimate manner, but I find that if I see them online I might say hello through the chat function, or vice versa. We're already exposed to each other, and I've already decided that I have found something worth pursuing from them at this point.
But I think that it's a combination of seeking and attracting. I know that several of the friends I have now are a result of them being attracted to me, either physically or intellectually. The male friends I have are no coincidence, the reason we're so close now is because they found me and decided that I should be in their lives. Granted, I keep them all in an entirely platonic folder now since I'm very happily involved. Nonetheless, they sought me, I did not seek them out. For whatever reason, they've all been happy to move me from a romantic interest to a platonic interest, and I'm very pleased with the transition.
I don't think there is any answer to whether we seek or attract the kinds of people in our lives, but in my life there is a combination of both. I seek out eclectic people that I think are interesting and tend to have a probational period with them. Should they progress past that period without exposing a fatal flaw they'll be anchored into my life for an extended period of time, if not for life. On the other hand, I tend to be sought by a different kind of person, and if I pass their inspection or examination, I'm anchored into their lives. Being sought and seeking bring to my life a certain fullness I couldn't have expected from solely seeking or attracting. I only seek a single type of person, and I'm glad I'm sought by a different group. I don't think it really matters if you seek or attract, as long as the people in your life bring positive things to it. It's important to recognize the negative things, of course. But why not embrace the good that comes from just having the interactions with others?
Love, Polly.
I like eclectic people in my life, the kind of people that you can't really tell if you found them, if they found you, or if the world just threw you together like that. I like to think we aroused each other's interest initially and we decided we were attracted mutually to the idea of letting each other into our lives. I know that when I do decide that someone is interesting and that I would like them to be in my life after initial contact has been made, I make an effort to at least talk to them. Facebook is the best example so far, many of the people on my facebook are people I had a class with in high school or know vaguely from other people. I don't know some of the people on it in an intimate manner, but I find that if I see them online I might say hello through the chat function, or vice versa. We're already exposed to each other, and I've already decided that I have found something worth pursuing from them at this point.
But I think that it's a combination of seeking and attracting. I know that several of the friends I have now are a result of them being attracted to me, either physically or intellectually. The male friends I have are no coincidence, the reason we're so close now is because they found me and decided that I should be in their lives. Granted, I keep them all in an entirely platonic folder now since I'm very happily involved. Nonetheless, they sought me, I did not seek them out. For whatever reason, they've all been happy to move me from a romantic interest to a platonic interest, and I'm very pleased with the transition.
I don't think there is any answer to whether we seek or attract the kinds of people in our lives, but in my life there is a combination of both. I seek out eclectic people that I think are interesting and tend to have a probational period with them. Should they progress past that period without exposing a fatal flaw they'll be anchored into my life for an extended period of time, if not for life. On the other hand, I tend to be sought by a different kind of person, and if I pass their inspection or examination, I'm anchored into their lives. Being sought and seeking bring to my life a certain fullness I couldn't have expected from solely seeking or attracting. I only seek a single type of person, and I'm glad I'm sought by a different group. I don't think it really matters if you seek or attract, as long as the people in your life bring positive things to it. It's important to recognize the negative things, of course. But why not embrace the good that comes from just having the interactions with others?
Love, Polly.
April 18, 2010
April 18, 2010: We all have to do it sometime.
Recently, I've read a pretty fabulous little novel called, The Stranger, by Albert Camus (translated by Matthew Ward). If you're not into deep reading, I wouldn't recommend it for you. Didn't really strike something internally until I hit chapter five at the end. Merseult is condemned to die by guillotine in the name of the French people after being tried and found guilty for killing another man. In this final chapter, the reality of his being condemned to die hits him full force, and he begins to really consider what his execution means. For Merseult, it's truly the end of the line. He recognizes that he will have to die no matter what, and meanwhile he recognizes some really impressive things.
Something of note that I picked up was that instead of deeming everything important, he has decided that almost everything is trivial with the exception of his execution. Every real life account and fictional account I've come across in my literary travels has been one of the two ways but not either. Either the person / character that is doomed to die takes the time to really stop and smell the roses, or he loses all interest in everything going on in the world around him. I've never personally encountered a scenario where a person is selectively super observant and consciously deciding to ignore other things.
I'm pretty sure that I'm not looking at impending and unavoidable doom any time soon, but it made me think about how we observe the world around us. How many people are being super observant and really taking time to learn the intimate details of their surroundings? How many people aren't? It's a common belief that if you are taking your time, you'll learn something. A truth about yourself, or the world, about anything really. In the new age hustle and bustle with our fancy new smart phones, etc. how many people are losing something? They say what you can learn from just watching can't really be learned any other way, and I believe it. You can't hear silence with your eyes and you can't see the sun rise with your ears. I'm curious if there is a single best way to deal with things in your environment, whether it really is worthwhile to smell the roses or not, whether you'll be just fine with or without that addition to your life.
[Author note: this blog has been pre-scheduled to post as I will be unavailable this weekend in an attempt to be more reliable. Thanks for reading. ]
Something of note that I picked up was that instead of deeming everything important, he has decided that almost everything is trivial with the exception of his execution. Every real life account and fictional account I've come across in my literary travels has been one of the two ways but not either. Either the person / character that is doomed to die takes the time to really stop and smell the roses, or he loses all interest in everything going on in the world around him. I've never personally encountered a scenario where a person is selectively super observant and consciously deciding to ignore other things.
I'm pretty sure that I'm not looking at impending and unavoidable doom any time soon, but it made me think about how we observe the world around us. How many people are being super observant and really taking time to learn the intimate details of their surroundings? How many people aren't? It's a common belief that if you are taking your time, you'll learn something. A truth about yourself, or the world, about anything really. In the new age hustle and bustle with our fancy new smart phones, etc. how many people are losing something? They say what you can learn from just watching can't really be learned any other way, and I believe it. You can't hear silence with your eyes and you can't see the sun rise with your ears. I'm curious if there is a single best way to deal with things in your environment, whether it really is worthwhile to smell the roses or not, whether you'll be just fine with or without that addition to your life.
[Author note: this blog has been pre-scheduled to post as I will be unavailable this weekend in an attempt to be more reliable. Thanks for reading. ]
April 17, 2010
April 17, 2010: Comment Moderation
It saddens me to say that charm school isn't known as what people send their daughters to anymore, but it's now a reality show on VH1 starring the losers from their celebrity dating shows. Every time I realize that, I'm torn between running to the bathroom and sacrificing to the Porcelain God or playing "emo-kid" and saying, "Saionara, suckers" to the world.
These girls are rude, crass, inconsiderate, and quite frankly not a tribute to themselves, their family, their friends, their gender, their ethnicities, their cultures, society, or humanity as a whole. I can't say what disappoints and scares me more about these shows being on television; that there are people who take this behavior and exhibit it themselves, or that these women feel justified in acting this way. As a person who advocates moving forward, I'm frankly appalled that mainstream media has decided to portray the current generation in this way. The truth is that what we see on television and through the media is something that future generations are going to judge and remember us through. We remember our own childhoods with the shows we woke up early on Saturday for, and the movies we watched on VHS tapes. We use classic movies, shows, and music to define generations and mark them in a time-line for our understanding.
Having not grown up so much in the world as it is right now, I hope dearly that the things I grew up with still exist. Discipline, respect, cleanliness, dependability, honesty, compassion, and a drive to find success in life (whatever that means to you). None of those things are by any means innate, you have be taught them. And if what we're looking at on television is just an example of what we have to look forward to for future generations, I'm disappointed.
How you act is something that in the end has to be regulated by yourself, and if you're unwilling to conduct yourself properly in public then I think you need to really check yourself for a minute. While I'm writing this, I can see a link for comment moderation, and the concept is astoundingly simple. It means I can keep things hidden unless I think they meet my requirements of respect and politeness. People now should moderate their life in the same manner, they should hold back and make sure that what they say or do is something that won't hurt them in the long run.
As a human being, we're reliant on each other for something at some point. There is no such thing as a completely self-reliant person, it just doesn't exist. You cannot create 100% of every good known to man in your personal space (home, farm, ranch, etc.), you just can't. So since we all have to deal with each other, let's try not to be the last person everyone else wants to deal with.
Love, Polly.
[Author note: this blog has been pre-scheduled to post as I will be unavailable this weekend in an attempt to be more reliable. Thanks for reading. ]
These girls are rude, crass, inconsiderate, and quite frankly not a tribute to themselves, their family, their friends, their gender, their ethnicities, their cultures, society, or humanity as a whole. I can't say what disappoints and scares me more about these shows being on television; that there are people who take this behavior and exhibit it themselves, or that these women feel justified in acting this way. As a person who advocates moving forward, I'm frankly appalled that mainstream media has decided to portray the current generation in this way. The truth is that what we see on television and through the media is something that future generations are going to judge and remember us through. We remember our own childhoods with the shows we woke up early on Saturday for, and the movies we watched on VHS tapes. We use classic movies, shows, and music to define generations and mark them in a time-line for our understanding.
Having not grown up so much in the world as it is right now, I hope dearly that the things I grew up with still exist. Discipline, respect, cleanliness, dependability, honesty, compassion, and a drive to find success in life (whatever that means to you). None of those things are by any means innate, you have be taught them. And if what we're looking at on television is just an example of what we have to look forward to for future generations, I'm disappointed.
How you act is something that in the end has to be regulated by yourself, and if you're unwilling to conduct yourself properly in public then I think you need to really check yourself for a minute. While I'm writing this, I can see a link for comment moderation, and the concept is astoundingly simple. It means I can keep things hidden unless I think they meet my requirements of respect and politeness. People now should moderate their life in the same manner, they should hold back and make sure that what they say or do is something that won't hurt them in the long run.
As a human being, we're reliant on each other for something at some point. There is no such thing as a completely self-reliant person, it just doesn't exist. You cannot create 100% of every good known to man in your personal space (home, farm, ranch, etc.), you just can't. So since we all have to deal with each other, let's try not to be the last person everyone else wants to deal with.
Love, Polly.
[Author note: this blog has been pre-scheduled to post as I will be unavailable this weekend in an attempt to be more reliable. Thanks for reading. ]
April 16, 2010
April 16, 2010: An Unknown Unknown
For at least person striving for perfection in their society, at least one other person is ruining it for them and I can only wonder how many times I'm the person ruining it. I don't know how true it is that it's impossible to create a perfect society for the imperfect man, because I'm not sure that all man is imperfect. It all depends on how you define perfection and imperfection, or whether you find it important to define them at all.
Naturally, there is a group of people that define perfection as being able to accept and love the imperfections in each other and themselves, society eternally perfect and becoming more perfect on a second by second basis. The imperfections of it are what make it so wonderful and worthwhile to enjoy. But because of this perceived perfection the assumption is that there is a missing desire for growth. Honestly, there is always growth, and it comes from loving the imperfections and the challenges of life. These are the people that challenge the idea of perfection, that challenge what is accepted as perfection in their lives, the lives of people around them, and the society that envelops them. They believe that perfection is found in the challenges of imperfection, of always striving for better. In some ways, that's a wonderful idealism.
Then there are the people that are more like I am, and believe that man is eternally denied true perfection, at least for now. I think that the farther we push ourselves to go, the more imperfections we will find. The limitations of how far we can go given enough time is a known unknown. The imperfections force us to strive continuously and true and honest perfection must never be known. Our societies are bolstered and strengthened by the imperfections in it. Evolution, as an example is completely dependent on imperfection of sorts. And likewise, we as creatures of evolution are completely dependent on imperfection. I also don't understand why we think we're capable of achieving perfection and why we think we're capable of comprehending comprehension once we've achieved it. I don't think that we're at a place where we can fully accept and understand the concept of perfection or able to give a definition that will satisfy all of our questions and various feelings towards perfection.
Final thoughts: perfection and imperfection are considered known, but they're so influenced on by personal viewpoints that they're really unknown unknowns and therefore something to keep considering. Because I am willing to accept that the realities of perfection and imperfection are intangible and dynamic, I can derive that they are unknown unknowns to mankind even if they're constantly wrongly accused of being known knowns and / or known unknowns.
Love, Polly.
Naturally, there is a group of people that define perfection as being able to accept and love the imperfections in each other and themselves, society eternally perfect and becoming more perfect on a second by second basis. The imperfections of it are what make it so wonderful and worthwhile to enjoy. But because of this perceived perfection the assumption is that there is a missing desire for growth. Honestly, there is always growth, and it comes from loving the imperfections and the challenges of life. These are the people that challenge the idea of perfection, that challenge what is accepted as perfection in their lives, the lives of people around them, and the society that envelops them. They believe that perfection is found in the challenges of imperfection, of always striving for better. In some ways, that's a wonderful idealism.
Then there are the people that are more like I am, and believe that man is eternally denied true perfection, at least for now. I think that the farther we push ourselves to go, the more imperfections we will find. The limitations of how far we can go given enough time is a known unknown. The imperfections force us to strive continuously and true and honest perfection must never be known. Our societies are bolstered and strengthened by the imperfections in it. Evolution, as an example is completely dependent on imperfection of sorts. And likewise, we as creatures of evolution are completely dependent on imperfection. I also don't understand why we think we're capable of achieving perfection and why we think we're capable of comprehending comprehension once we've achieved it. I don't think that we're at a place where we can fully accept and understand the concept of perfection or able to give a definition that will satisfy all of our questions and various feelings towards perfection.
Final thoughts: perfection and imperfection are considered known, but they're so influenced on by personal viewpoints that they're really unknown unknowns and therefore something to keep considering. Because I am willing to accept that the realities of perfection and imperfection are intangible and dynamic, I can derive that they are unknown unknowns to mankind even if they're constantly wrongly accused of being known knowns and / or known unknowns.
Love, Polly.
April 15, 2010
April 15, 2010: Watching paint dry
You can watch paint dry all day, and eventually you'll see the darker drier patches appear. It might only take you a few hours if you're lucky, and the person who painted the wall used quick dry paint. Or it might take you a whole day and night if they went and used a paint without the quick dry technology. There are a lot of things that could help your paint dry faster from the get go, but if you're not the person painting the wall then you don't really get to choose any of the details.
So the big question is, are you watching the paint dry or are you painting the wall yourself? When it comes to the choices and actions that need to be made or taken in your life, who is doing it? If you're watching the paint dry, then you're doing yourself a disservice. As a person, you are going to always want more than what you have, and you can't have everything you want if you're going to sit back and wait for it to come to you. Unfortunately, that's just not how the world we live in works. If you want to achieve and be somewhere better than where you are now, you're going to have to stop watching the paint dry and paint a room yourself. When you paint a room yourself, you can pick the quick dry paint and make sure you paint in thin even layers. No matter what, you're responsible for how your life turns out, if you want to be in the fast lane going forward you're going to have to step on the gas pedal yourself. You can't wait for someone else to push down the gas pedal for you, you've got to put your foot down, grit your teeth, and do it yourself.
Being pro-active in your life isn't just going through the motions though, it's about going out of your way to set yourself up with opportunities to grow. And the growth doesn't just have to be professionally or academically. So many people make the mistake of thinking that opening opportunities is only something you do in the work / career sphere or the academic sphere. It's also about meeting new people and bringing something else to your life that you can be proud of. Growing character and opinions and knowledge are things that you can learn any number of ways, and every one of those should be looked at as personal opportunity. But finding them should be personal responsibility. If you're proactive in your life and looking for those opportunities you will always find them. And when you find them, you're giving your life a chance to be great and you're giving yourself a chance to be great.
I've heard the saying, "Dare to be great" and I think it's a powerful way to think. Dare to be great, dare to be different, and dare to challenge yourself. Don't watch the paint dry, paint the room and point a fan at the walls. They'll be dry in a pinch and you can move on to the next room or just enjoy the room you've got. And if a fresh coat of paint can give a room new life, then accepting a new opportunity is just going to rocket you into personal greatness.
Love, Polly.
So the big question is, are you watching the paint dry or are you painting the wall yourself? When it comes to the choices and actions that need to be made or taken in your life, who is doing it? If you're watching the paint dry, then you're doing yourself a disservice. As a person, you are going to always want more than what you have, and you can't have everything you want if you're going to sit back and wait for it to come to you. Unfortunately, that's just not how the world we live in works. If you want to achieve and be somewhere better than where you are now, you're going to have to stop watching the paint dry and paint a room yourself. When you paint a room yourself, you can pick the quick dry paint and make sure you paint in thin even layers. No matter what, you're responsible for how your life turns out, if you want to be in the fast lane going forward you're going to have to step on the gas pedal yourself. You can't wait for someone else to push down the gas pedal for you, you've got to put your foot down, grit your teeth, and do it yourself.
Being pro-active in your life isn't just going through the motions though, it's about going out of your way to set yourself up with opportunities to grow. And the growth doesn't just have to be professionally or academically. So many people make the mistake of thinking that opening opportunities is only something you do in the work / career sphere or the academic sphere. It's also about meeting new people and bringing something else to your life that you can be proud of. Growing character and opinions and knowledge are things that you can learn any number of ways, and every one of those should be looked at as personal opportunity. But finding them should be personal responsibility. If you're proactive in your life and looking for those opportunities you will always find them. And when you find them, you're giving your life a chance to be great and you're giving yourself a chance to be great.
I've heard the saying, "Dare to be great" and I think it's a powerful way to think. Dare to be great, dare to be different, and dare to challenge yourself. Don't watch the paint dry, paint the room and point a fan at the walls. They'll be dry in a pinch and you can move on to the next room or just enjoy the room you've got. And if a fresh coat of paint can give a room new life, then accepting a new opportunity is just going to rocket you into personal greatness.
Love, Polly.
April 14, 2010
April 14, 2010: It'll be a long road ahead.
If you feel like you're floating around life with no ambition or sense of direction, I'm with you sometimes. Mostly just when I'm lying in bed trying to motivate myself for the next morning. I have to take time to remind myself why I'm working so hard and what I'm working towards. Not only do I want everything possible from my life, I'm determined to fulfill those wants and have everything possible in my life. But what gets me at night and ruins my confidence and sense of purpose is losing sight of my life goals. When I can no longer seem to find or even know that what I'm doing makes a difference to how my life is going to continue is when I really need to re inventory my life goals.
I'm one of those people that just needs to be able to see the grass on the other side the whole time that I'm climbing the fence. I don't want to see the piles of dog poop in neat little coils on the ground and I won't until I step in them. But if you take away the grass, I'm lost. I don't know where I'm going or why I'm going at all. I need that goal, that justification that I'm taking all my steps in the right direction, no matter what direction it happens to be. I don't want the grass you're walking to, I need to see the grass that I spotted, my grass. I don't want your grass, if I wanted your grass I would have to taken it already. I actually want my grass, and I don't want you or anyone else taking my grass away.
Think of the grass I'm talking about like you would think about life goals. You don't want someone else's life goals, those are less fulfilling and if you wanted them you would have already been in that direction from the get-go. And those little brown coils of poop on the ground are just the land mines that seem to plague all of us, the little explosions that we aren't expecting, and by their very existence make our lives just a little more complicated. But we need to have the grass, we need to see the life goals. We're not happy merely with being anymore, it's not how as a society or as a person we function. We need to see the grass, because we're jaded and we don't believe anything exists without empirical evidence that it truly exists in our reality.
And don't believe that just because it's the grass two feet away that it will be easy to get there. Maybe it's two feet away but that's because there is a two-foot wall between you and it. To get there you might have to go many other directions. A life goal isn't simply what you chose it to be right now, it's always going to be there even if what the goal is changes. The gate might move, but you'll find it if you keep the grass in sight. And there is no wrong way for you to live your life and define it and your goals for it, just the way you do it.
Love, Polly.
I'm one of those people that just needs to be able to see the grass on the other side the whole time that I'm climbing the fence. I don't want to see the piles of dog poop in neat little coils on the ground and I won't until I step in them. But if you take away the grass, I'm lost. I don't know where I'm going or why I'm going at all. I need that goal, that justification that I'm taking all my steps in the right direction, no matter what direction it happens to be. I don't want the grass you're walking to, I need to see the grass that I spotted, my grass. I don't want your grass, if I wanted your grass I would have to taken it already. I actually want my grass, and I don't want you or anyone else taking my grass away.
Think of the grass I'm talking about like you would think about life goals. You don't want someone else's life goals, those are less fulfilling and if you wanted them you would have already been in that direction from the get-go. And those little brown coils of poop on the ground are just the land mines that seem to plague all of us, the little explosions that we aren't expecting, and by their very existence make our lives just a little more complicated. But we need to have the grass, we need to see the life goals. We're not happy merely with being anymore, it's not how as a society or as a person we function. We need to see the grass, because we're jaded and we don't believe anything exists without empirical evidence that it truly exists in our reality.
And don't believe that just because it's the grass two feet away that it will be easy to get there. Maybe it's two feet away but that's because there is a two-foot wall between you and it. To get there you might have to go many other directions. A life goal isn't simply what you chose it to be right now, it's always going to be there even if what the goal is changes. The gate might move, but you'll find it if you keep the grass in sight. And there is no wrong way for you to live your life and define it and your goals for it, just the way you do it.
Love, Polly.
April 13, 2010
April 13, 2010: Healing starts from the soul
I know that this past year has been super rough on all of us. As a country, we're losing our jobs, losing our financial stability, and we're losing our hope. But that's not the hardest part, because in spite of losing so much, we always have the people in our lives that can give us back a little bit of our faith in life and hope for recovery. The hardest part is losing these people, the ones that give us so much and have so much taken away from them by passing.
Even in normal times the pain from losing those close to us feels like it's too much to bear, and like life is closing in. We can turn to religion and pray for their souls, fill our hearts with something bigger than ourselves. We can turn to alcohol or drugs, and make our hearts stop hurting temporarily, make everything stop hurting. We can turn to each other, and look for something to grow inside where we feel empty.
I can't begin to know how you feel, or even begin to imagine the suffering and pain that loss bring to every person individually. I can only tell you how loss has always manifested inside me. It hurts, worse than the worse pain I've ever felt. It's not the physical pain of a sprained ankle or dislocated knee. It's an internal blinding pain, beyond the point of tears and far past where healing is a sure-thing. Beyond the pain is a hollowness, like all the life has been ripped out of you. An all consuming void, like you would imagine a black hole is sucking everything out of your person. You can't breath, you can't eat, and nothing means anything to you. The promise of tomorrow being a better day suddenly doesn't mean anything to you and going to sleep is just a way to pass the time faster.
Grief takes a toll unlike any other, it punishes you for loving another being with out prerogative. It's a punishment for doing good unto another, and turns daily life into a prison. Days meld into each other, and the words "tomorrow" and "yesterday" just don't seem to mean anything anymore, time is stopped and only through grief can you really know what having a day be both long and short is. The things you loved before, you don't really want to love so much. The fear of multiple loss is unbearable, the way night is unbearable for children afraid of the dark.
Just like I can't tell you how grief feels for you, only my experiences with it, I can't tell anyone how to heal. It's a journey you have to lead for yourself, but you don't have to go alone. When someone is lost, he isn't just lost for one person. He's often lost for many, and being available for each other is going to teach you to be strong. Not for yourself, but for others. It will teach you to open yourself up again, because you can share your pain. When you see something that reminds you of him, you can look to each other and let go without fear of foolishness and lack of reason. If a smell or a sound or a joke brings you back to them, enjoy the memory and for a moment forget your present together.
Everyone heals their own way, and I can't tell you that if you cry hard enough or long enough it will make you feel like nothing is wrong. But I can wish you the best in your trials. Love makes you strong. Love yourself, love others, and love the good in all the things you can. As a human, you're doomed to be a survivor, and recovery will knock on your door.
Love, Polly.
Even in normal times the pain from losing those close to us feels like it's too much to bear, and like life is closing in. We can turn to religion and pray for their souls, fill our hearts with something bigger than ourselves. We can turn to alcohol or drugs, and make our hearts stop hurting temporarily, make everything stop hurting. We can turn to each other, and look for something to grow inside where we feel empty.
I can't begin to know how you feel, or even begin to imagine the suffering and pain that loss bring to every person individually. I can only tell you how loss has always manifested inside me. It hurts, worse than the worse pain I've ever felt. It's not the physical pain of a sprained ankle or dislocated knee. It's an internal blinding pain, beyond the point of tears and far past where healing is a sure-thing. Beyond the pain is a hollowness, like all the life has been ripped out of you. An all consuming void, like you would imagine a black hole is sucking everything out of your person. You can't breath, you can't eat, and nothing means anything to you. The promise of tomorrow being a better day suddenly doesn't mean anything to you and going to sleep is just a way to pass the time faster.
Grief takes a toll unlike any other, it punishes you for loving another being with out prerogative. It's a punishment for doing good unto another, and turns daily life into a prison. Days meld into each other, and the words "tomorrow" and "yesterday" just don't seem to mean anything anymore, time is stopped and only through grief can you really know what having a day be both long and short is. The things you loved before, you don't really want to love so much. The fear of multiple loss is unbearable, the way night is unbearable for children afraid of the dark.
Just like I can't tell you how grief feels for you, only my experiences with it, I can't tell anyone how to heal. It's a journey you have to lead for yourself, but you don't have to go alone. When someone is lost, he isn't just lost for one person. He's often lost for many, and being available for each other is going to teach you to be strong. Not for yourself, but for others. It will teach you to open yourself up again, because you can share your pain. When you see something that reminds you of him, you can look to each other and let go without fear of foolishness and lack of reason. If a smell or a sound or a joke brings you back to them, enjoy the memory and for a moment forget your present together.
Everyone heals their own way, and I can't tell you that if you cry hard enough or long enough it will make you feel like nothing is wrong. But I can wish you the best in your trials. Love makes you strong. Love yourself, love others, and love the good in all the things you can. As a human, you're doomed to be a survivor, and recovery will knock on your door.
Love, Polly.
RIP Big Mike. Ventura County.
RIP John John Chapman. Moorpark, CA.
“Do not weep for me, This is not my true country, I have lived banished from my true country — I now go back there, I return to the celestial sphere where every one goes in his turn.”
RIP John John Chapman. Moorpark, CA.
“Do not weep for me, This is not my true country, I have lived banished from my true country — I now go back there, I return to the celestial sphere where every one goes in his turn.”
April 12, 2010
April 12, 2010: Reaping maturity's benefit without maturity
Alot of us are feeling a little wincing pain in our chest when someone mentions the generations that are coming to blossom right now. We live in a world of contradictions, and as funny as it seems we can't seem to make heads or tails out of our world without these narrowing concepts. Either this generation is the smartest generation of kids the world has seen, or they're by a long shot the dumbest. Well, where are we really at right now? We're moving in opposite directions to both extremes, the smartest are getting smarter and the dumbest are getting dumber. And if you're right in the middle, expect to stay there watching both ends get farther and farther away.
For now, I'm going to focus on the dumber extreme. How can people now be so self-assured with themselves when they are making the dumbest mistakes of all time? Really, it's not the mistakes that kill us. It's the excuses people make for their mistakes. When a teenage girl has a baby at 13, okay, I feel your pain. But what really delivers that KO blow for me is when they make an excuse for their behavior. You have free will, and just because you can have a child doesn't mean you should. I hope the best for you in life, and I hope your child knows neither hurt or want. But still, I want you to stop telling everyone that you WANTED to be pregnant or that this child is the best thing that could have happened to your life. And parents, stop coddling. If they're old enough to bump uglies, they're old enough to support themselves too. For god's sake, make them acknowledge this. Kids, think hard about what you're doing before you do it. We know you're going to do it regardless of what we or anyone else tells you, parents included. Just do things right, and turn off your stupid switches. And in addition, quit talking about everyone behind their backs. It's just shady and rude, and I think the world would be a better place if more of us learned the art of tactful criticism. Even Mother Teresa had her flaws, so man up and accept yours.
And finally, the smarter of us. Get off your high horse. Improve the quality of life for the sake of improving the quality of life. Quit wasting your potential and make a difference in your world if not the whole world. There are so many brilliant people who are just letting the rest of the world take on the problems we're up against now, and these problems could be solved so much quicker with a few helping hands. Take on an issue that hurts you, right now, in your world. And find a solution. Use what you have as talents to bring the solution around.
For the love of people, I beg you to dare to achieve. No matter which category you belong in, daring to achieve will help you and the rest of the world in ways you can't imagine.
Love, Polly.
[Night-owl, this one was for you.]
For now, I'm going to focus on the dumber extreme. How can people now be so self-assured with themselves when they are making the dumbest mistakes of all time? Really, it's not the mistakes that kill us. It's the excuses people make for their mistakes. When a teenage girl has a baby at 13, okay, I feel your pain. But what really delivers that KO blow for me is when they make an excuse for their behavior. You have free will, and just because you can have a child doesn't mean you should. I hope the best for you in life, and I hope your child knows neither hurt or want. But still, I want you to stop telling everyone that you WANTED to be pregnant or that this child is the best thing that could have happened to your life. And parents, stop coddling. If they're old enough to bump uglies, they're old enough to support themselves too. For god's sake, make them acknowledge this. Kids, think hard about what you're doing before you do it. We know you're going to do it regardless of what we or anyone else tells you, parents included. Just do things right, and turn off your stupid switches. And in addition, quit talking about everyone behind their backs. It's just shady and rude, and I think the world would be a better place if more of us learned the art of tactful criticism. Even Mother Teresa had her flaws, so man up and accept yours.
And finally, the smarter of us. Get off your high horse. Improve the quality of life for the sake of improving the quality of life. Quit wasting your potential and make a difference in your world if not the whole world. There are so many brilliant people who are just letting the rest of the world take on the problems we're up against now, and these problems could be solved so much quicker with a few helping hands. Take on an issue that hurts you, right now, in your world. And find a solution. Use what you have as talents to bring the solution around.
For the love of people, I beg you to dare to achieve. No matter which category you belong in, daring to achieve will help you and the rest of the world in ways you can't imagine.
Love, Polly.
[Night-owl, this one was for you.]
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Readers,
Wherever you are, and whoever you are. I'd like to introduce you to a radio show being hosted by a very dear friend of mine in Los Angeles. Please tune in, you'll find yourself a great show.
For details, find him on FaceBook at: A Little Slice of Wonderful
Love, Polly.
Wherever you are, and whoever you are. I'd like to introduce you to a radio show being hosted by a very dear friend of mine in Los Angeles. Please tune in, you'll find yourself a great show.
For details, find him on FaceBook at: A Little Slice of Wonderful
Love, Polly.
April 11, 2010
April 11, 2010: The Ant and the Grasshopper
I'm not sure if every one has heard the fable of the ant and the grasshopper, but I think it's a powerful story. If you haven't, here's a short version of it to look at : The Ant and the Grasshopper.
The moral of the story is a strong point that we should really consider more in our lives, " It is best to prepare for the days of necessity. " As normal everyday people, we don't have psychic visions that depict what will go on in the next twenty-four hours. We don't foresee the events in life that we could so easily be prepared for, in our relationships with others and ourself, in our emotions, in our finances, in any of our life. In all honesty, the markers are always in front of our eyes. Our refusal to see them for ourself does not in any means mean they're invisible to the naked eye or that they don't exist. And it's the refusal to see them that makes things so much harder for us to bear in the long run.
In our relationships with friends, we may recognize that our texts and phone calls aren't being answered. But most of the time we fail to realize that we aren't taking the time to be good friends ourselves. We're being dishonest or unavailable for them. Maybe we're patronizing or taking advantage of all the good things we can get from someone else without giving back to them. Sometimes we're fair weather friends. It takes a lot for someone to admit they aren't giving all of themselves that they can give, but it takes so much more for someone to truly recognize it and admit it with the conviction you need to really get somewhere with it.
For many of us, we live for our romantic relationships. We are in love with the free fall of falling in love, but we despise the crash we face afterwards. We feel shocked when the first figurative punch lands, and then hurt and angry while the sting prevails. Naturally, the inability to notice the markers that say, "This is the beginning of an end" is something that's strongly associated with women. We're the ones that are so honestly awestruck in the end of what we feel is a perfectly good relationship and find it time to proclaim, "But things were going so well, I don't know what happened!" Ladies, stop for a second. You know what happened, and again we're going to loop back to the last section. It takes some serious cohones to just say, "I'm screwing up." It takes some even bigger cohones to mean it and do something about it.
As far as relationships go, the signs are there but it's up to us as individuals to pick them up. You can't just sit around and hope for the best. Relationships (both platonic and romantic) take work, and communication, and even more so an understanding. If you've seen the movie Gothika, then think back to the scene after Miranda first talks to Chloe and then goes to see her husband. He tells her to look in a mirror and then throws a glass of water at it. Well, if you're Miranda, which mirror are you looking at? The clear mirror? Or the mirror with water distorting it? If you're being surprised, then you need to dry off your mirror and look again. And keep drying, and keep looking until you can really see what's going on.
Finances are where things get tricky, and it's a different kind of preparedness you need to consider. As consumers, most of us live paycheck to paycheck. We save very little, if at all, and we tap into the savings constantly. Even worse than that is the way we lie to ourselves about how we'll save the extra money we earn when we see ourselves with a raise. Also, money doesn't need to burn a hole in your pockets. For alot of us, there is some little thing that we buy all the time that does it for us. For me, it's cigarettes. For you, it could be coffee, shoes, anything. Find what it is, and learn some self-control. Save the money you would have spent and I promise you, this will be rewarding later. When you go bankrupt, think about how the five dollars you spent on a latte would be REALLY useful right now, in fact. Think of the latte you bought every day for the last several months, and think about how all those dollars could be really useful.
I'm so sorry for the people in the rare occasion that honestly are blind sighted and have the ability to be 100% realistic with their lives. For the less ignorant, keep this one idea in mind. Those who are prepared for disaster often survive it.
Love, Polly.
The moral of the story is a strong point that we should really consider more in our lives, " It is best to prepare for the days of necessity. " As normal everyday people, we don't have psychic visions that depict what will go on in the next twenty-four hours. We don't foresee the events in life that we could so easily be prepared for, in our relationships with others and ourself, in our emotions, in our finances, in any of our life. In all honesty, the markers are always in front of our eyes. Our refusal to see them for ourself does not in any means mean they're invisible to the naked eye or that they don't exist. And it's the refusal to see them that makes things so much harder for us to bear in the long run.
In our relationships with friends, we may recognize that our texts and phone calls aren't being answered. But most of the time we fail to realize that we aren't taking the time to be good friends ourselves. We're being dishonest or unavailable for them. Maybe we're patronizing or taking advantage of all the good things we can get from someone else without giving back to them. Sometimes we're fair weather friends. It takes a lot for someone to admit they aren't giving all of themselves that they can give, but it takes so much more for someone to truly recognize it and admit it with the conviction you need to really get somewhere with it.
For many of us, we live for our romantic relationships. We are in love with the free fall of falling in love, but we despise the crash we face afterwards. We feel shocked when the first figurative punch lands, and then hurt and angry while the sting prevails. Naturally, the inability to notice the markers that say, "This is the beginning of an end" is something that's strongly associated with women. We're the ones that are so honestly awestruck in the end of what we feel is a perfectly good relationship and find it time to proclaim, "But things were going so well, I don't know what happened!" Ladies, stop for a second. You know what happened, and again we're going to loop back to the last section. It takes some serious cohones to just say, "I'm screwing up." It takes some even bigger cohones to mean it and do something about it.
As far as relationships go, the signs are there but it's up to us as individuals to pick them up. You can't just sit around and hope for the best. Relationships (both platonic and romantic) take work, and communication, and even more so an understanding. If you've seen the movie Gothika, then think back to the scene after Miranda first talks to Chloe and then goes to see her husband. He tells her to look in a mirror and then throws a glass of water at it. Well, if you're Miranda, which mirror are you looking at? The clear mirror? Or the mirror with water distorting it? If you're being surprised, then you need to dry off your mirror and look again. And keep drying, and keep looking until you can really see what's going on.
Finances are where things get tricky, and it's a different kind of preparedness you need to consider. As consumers, most of us live paycheck to paycheck. We save very little, if at all, and we tap into the savings constantly. Even worse than that is the way we lie to ourselves about how we'll save the extra money we earn when we see ourselves with a raise. Also, money doesn't need to burn a hole in your pockets. For alot of us, there is some little thing that we buy all the time that does it for us. For me, it's cigarettes. For you, it could be coffee, shoes, anything. Find what it is, and learn some self-control. Save the money you would have spent and I promise you, this will be rewarding later. When you go bankrupt, think about how the five dollars you spent on a latte would be REALLY useful right now, in fact. Think of the latte you bought every day for the last several months, and think about how all those dollars could be really useful.
I'm so sorry for the people in the rare occasion that honestly are blind sighted and have the ability to be 100% realistic with their lives. For the less ignorant, keep this one idea in mind. Those who are prepared for disaster often survive it.
Love, Polly.
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