We all have that stupid friend frustrates us because they won't grow up and handle responsibility. There are so many ways that irresponsibility is fostered it's no wonder they exist either. Just a fact of life that we have to accept no matter what goes on. Sometimes they even have the gall to tell us that we're being irresponsible with our lives as well, and we can't see where they happen to get off saying those things.
Being the friend who won't grow up, the friend who thinks they're all grown up, or just the person who is all grown up doesn't mean that we're ever in a place to judge anyone else really. I'm not really sure of my religious stand point yet, so I'm not going to be the person that says, "Only God can judge". But I'm considering the fact that there will always be the friend who won't grow up or who thinks they're all grown up, and not always the person who is all grown up.
But it doesn't really matter which of them you are in the long run, life runs it's course and you'll just have to deal with things as they come. For the people who won't grow up, they find ways to enable that, be it through their parents or other people. Maybe they just didn't learn the lessons that they need in order to mature more. And for the people who think they're all grown up, well that's great for them. If they're not, eventually they'll fall upon a hard time that will force some kind of growth, we hope. I've never met a person who could always say that they were all grown up, and had become everything they wanted to be. Even Bill Gates wants to be a person in a perfect, healthy, livable world. He has money beyond the imaginable, and he still goes to help those who are less fortunate. Something inside him says, I am not yet the person I want to be and I cannot be that person until the world is functioning in a way that allows that. Not to say that he's unfulfilled or unhappy. I'm sure that he experiences both those pleasures. But something compels him to do those things, and that is the knowledge that the world is not in a state that he can be the person he would love to be in it.
As with each variation of persons, there is a variety of ways to handle it. You can complain or try to help foster the things that you believe that person should have. Personally, I think the only way to combat any of the issues with irresponsibility is to work yourself. Strive to mature, mature your thinking, mature your beliefs, and mature your moral and ethical code. The body matures at it's own pace and there is little you can do outside of wishing or hoping on your own to help spur the process. The mind is different, when you expand it, you grow. With growth comes maturity. I'm going to strive to grow, and I'm going to strive to be better in all the ways that I can. Instead of complaining or badmouthing, I'm going to push myself to show the most responsibility I've ever shown in life. Self-responsibility and social responsibility, together.
Love,
Polly.
April 28, 2010
April 28, 2010: Franzia, because wine in a box is more environmentally friendly!
A friend of ours came by not too long ago and brought a box of Franzia over with her. It's been sitting on my desk all week since she left it there, and I keep reading the side panel of it where it lists all it's ecological achievements. They are as follows.
But I digress, the environment is definitely something that people should really consider now. Before, we didn't have the knowledge that we do now, and we should move forward. A lot of people say, "Oh, I recycle my cans" or "I use reusable bags at the grocery store". Well a fat lot of good that does when you're driving your HUMMER across country for whatever stupid reason you've got.
We should stop undoing the good we're doing, because it looks like for every step forward we take, we also take a half step back. It's really important that we continue to learn more about our environment, how to take care of it, and more economical ways to live our lives. But at the same time, we need to incorporate those things on a daily basis. We're not going to save the world tomorrow, of course not. But every step backwards we take is just going to make it take longer.
Also, stop looking at band-aid solutions. Really think about what you're doing and whether there might be a better, friendlier alternative. I'm not saying I don't love reusable bags or recycling, but maybe getting a friendlier car to drive around town in might be a better idea? Not only that, but it'll save you some money.
Nowadays, it's easier on your pocket in the long run to be environmentally friendly. But if you think for just a second, is that two extra seconds it's going to take you really that bad anyway?
Love, Polly.
- Significantly less CO2 emissions
- Significantly less packaging waste
- Smaller carbon footprint
- Less wine waste
But I digress, the environment is definitely something that people should really consider now. Before, we didn't have the knowledge that we do now, and we should move forward. A lot of people say, "Oh, I recycle my cans" or "I use reusable bags at the grocery store". Well a fat lot of good that does when you're driving your HUMMER across country for whatever stupid reason you've got.
We should stop undoing the good we're doing, because it looks like for every step forward we take, we also take a half step back. It's really important that we continue to learn more about our environment, how to take care of it, and more economical ways to live our lives. But at the same time, we need to incorporate those things on a daily basis. We're not going to save the world tomorrow, of course not. But every step backwards we take is just going to make it take longer.
Also, stop looking at band-aid solutions. Really think about what you're doing and whether there might be a better, friendlier alternative. I'm not saying I don't love reusable bags or recycling, but maybe getting a friendlier car to drive around town in might be a better idea? Not only that, but it'll save you some money.
Nowadays, it's easier on your pocket in the long run to be environmentally friendly. But if you think for just a second, is that two extra seconds it's going to take you really that bad anyway?
Love, Polly.
April 26, 2010
April 27,2010: Letting go
Letting go is always the hardest part of everything, but it's very likely the most important part of surviving in our world. With all the things we put ourselves through, and all the things that occur to us on a daily basis we really need to learn to find our grace under pressure. So much of the time we spend brooding because we're angry, frustrated, or hurt we could be spending doing things that we love or things that we find fulfilling.
In relationships, if you only consider the awful things that happen you don't learn from them. You brood darkly and it hurts every relationship you have in the future. As each relationship progresses, you begin to focus on the similarities that hurt you before. Pretty soon you only have eyes for what could go wrong, for the bad things. Then it becomes the only thing you notice in your life. Practice leads to permanence, and if you practice bad perception then it becomes all you see. You'll never have a good, lasting, stable relationship if you're too busy looking for ways that it will fail.
Friendships fall under much the same vein as relationships, and this particular point is no exception. It's best to value the good in all your relationships including friendship, even if they don't last. That way you won't be prone to pointing out the annoying little things and have them take over, and instead point out the fabulous things that you enjoy so much about them. Part of being in relationships (platonic and romantic) is maintenance, and any decent self-help book can tell you that if you feel like your relationship is failing you need to make sure that it's not your fault, too.
Value the good in yourself, the good in each other, and the great things that could come from that. I'm not saying ignore any bad things that give you the opportunity for growth, but change the things you can't and let the things you can't be.
Love, Polly.
In relationships, if you only consider the awful things that happen you don't learn from them. You brood darkly and it hurts every relationship you have in the future. As each relationship progresses, you begin to focus on the similarities that hurt you before. Pretty soon you only have eyes for what could go wrong, for the bad things. Then it becomes the only thing you notice in your life. Practice leads to permanence, and if you practice bad perception then it becomes all you see. You'll never have a good, lasting, stable relationship if you're too busy looking for ways that it will fail.
Friendships fall under much the same vein as relationships, and this particular point is no exception. It's best to value the good in all your relationships including friendship, even if they don't last. That way you won't be prone to pointing out the annoying little things and have them take over, and instead point out the fabulous things that you enjoy so much about them. Part of being in relationships (platonic and romantic) is maintenance, and any decent self-help book can tell you that if you feel like your relationship is failing you need to make sure that it's not your fault, too.
Value the good in yourself, the good in each other, and the great things that could come from that. I'm not saying ignore any bad things that give you the opportunity for growth, but change the things you can't and let the things you can't be.
Love, Polly.
April 26, 2010: On being asked if female drivers were as strong as their male counterparts - You drive the car, you don't carry it.
[Janet Guthrie-quote as title]
Growing up in this era of equal opportunity and gender equality, I've long been taught of the struggles of gender and race. I have no stories of true struggle or strife in regards to them. Instead, I only have the misconceptions of a young, wet behind the ears lady thrown into the auto-sport world. I've had a few glancing touches before, like when you accidentally brush shoulders with a stranger in public. But I'll be honest, I'm not of the mechanical mind and I would prefer (infinitely) the so called "softer sciences".
After my first brush with deathly illness (this is an exaggeration, but it sure didn't feel like one) at Cal Speedway, I'd vowed to never again be talked into coming out. Not for anyone, not for anything. Since then, I'm glad I've changed my mind.
My second encounter was much more smooth although it did blow any preconceived notion out of my mind. I made my debut at Miller Motorsports Park as the "Driver's girlfriend" for NASA's
National Championship Event 2009, and it's been an experience I wouldn't trade for the world. I was afraid I wouldn't fit in since I didn't know anything or anyone, and that being so far away from home for a week would be boring since the only involvement I had was sitting on top of the garages biting my nails during the races.But I was pleasantly surprised by how wrong I was.
At first, I'd been warned that there wouldn't be very many women out, that there never are. We must have been very lucky because in the garage next to us there was another "Driver's girlfriend" and in the week we were there we made friends very quickly. The ratio of men to women definitely favored the men, but all in all I didn't feel like a zebra in the city. In fact, many of them had levels of involvement I can hardly fathom, and each event seems to enforce that in my mind.
Since then, I've managed to come a long way. I've gone to every event since, learned a bit about hubs, axles, tires, and other car related things. I've also experienced SEMA, my first endurance race, and participated in tire changing. Honestly, I couldn't be more shocked at how involved I'm becoming with racing as a sport. But I can't say I don't enjoy every second of it. The best part is that my involvement as more than just the "Driver's girlfriend" helps him out too. We've had women come over and say how great it is to see women actually out there helping out, and taking pictures. But even more than that, it's nice to know that no one else notices that I'm a woman, they treat me as an unlearned person. Everything they teach me is just dragging me farther into their life and passion, and making it mine. I don't mind at all.
Love, Polly.
Growing up in this era of equal opportunity and gender equality, I've long been taught of the struggles of gender and race. I have no stories of true struggle or strife in regards to them. Instead, I only have the misconceptions of a young, wet behind the ears lady thrown into the auto-sport world. I've had a few glancing touches before, like when you accidentally brush shoulders with a stranger in public. But I'll be honest, I'm not of the mechanical mind and I would prefer (infinitely) the so called "softer sciences".
After my first brush with deathly illness (this is an exaggeration, but it sure didn't feel like one) at Cal Speedway, I'd vowed to never again be talked into coming out. Not for anyone, not for anything. Since then, I'm glad I've changed my mind.
My second encounter was much more smooth although it did blow any preconceived notion out of my mind. I made my debut at Miller Motorsports Park as the "Driver's girlfriend" for NASA's
National Championship Event 2009, and it's been an experience I wouldn't trade for the world. I was afraid I wouldn't fit in since I didn't know anything or anyone, and that being so far away from home for a week would be boring since the only involvement I had was sitting on top of the garages biting my nails during the races.But I was pleasantly surprised by how wrong I was.
At first, I'd been warned that there wouldn't be very many women out, that there never are. We must have been very lucky because in the garage next to us there was another "Driver's girlfriend" and in the week we were there we made friends very quickly. The ratio of men to women definitely favored the men, but all in all I didn't feel like a zebra in the city. In fact, many of them had levels of involvement I can hardly fathom, and each event seems to enforce that in my mind.
Since then, I've managed to come a long way. I've gone to every event since, learned a bit about hubs, axles, tires, and other car related things. I've also experienced SEMA, my first endurance race, and participated in tire changing. Honestly, I couldn't be more shocked at how involved I'm becoming with racing as a sport. But I can't say I don't enjoy every second of it. The best part is that my involvement as more than just the "Driver's girlfriend" helps him out too. We've had women come over and say how great it is to see women actually out there helping out, and taking pictures. But even more than that, it's nice to know that no one else notices that I'm a woman, they treat me as an unlearned person. Everything they teach me is just dragging me farther into their life and passion, and making it mine. I don't mind at all.
Love, Polly.
April 25, 2010
April 25, 2010: Overworked, overwhelmed, and overdoing it.
There are really two kinds of people in the world, those who handle stressful situations with all the grace they can muster and those who lack any kind of grace at all. When you're forced to decide how important things are and overwhelmed by a list that is always growing, it's important to know your limitations and boundaries. I can't count on my fingers (or even my toes) how many times I've gone overboard with to-do lists. I'm the kind of person that lists every single step of the way, so that something as simple as "cleaning the desk" becomes a seventy step job. As my list grows and things start to take longer and longer because I'm finding more detailed steps to add, I get overwhelmed by the sheer immensity of the list and at a certain point I cease functioning in a rational and productive manner.
I love t0-do lists, probably more than the average person does. My lists look like they contain every single motion or action that one specific broad statement like "clean the bedroom" could be encompassed by. The longer the list gets the more fanatical I am about adding things and the less time I spend actually doing any real work. As the afternoon progresses, I find that I'm going to at some point just give up and start ignoring larger things and do the bare minimum.
It isn't a problem to do something thoroughly and in a manner you can be proud of, but it's a problem to start acting as OCD compulsive as the TV character Adrian Monk. You shouldn't have to bleach every section of your house minute spot by minute spot until you're one hundred percent sure that you've covered every single place. When you become so overly detailed, even the smallest jobs turn into Mt. Everest like adventures, where success and completion are things that few people in the world can obtain.
To really find success, it's important to pace yourself and force yourself to understand the merits of a job well done and not overly done. The difference seems like it's just in the details and that a job overly done is still a job well done. Well, when it's something that you're expecting to do repetitively, why would you want to burn yourself out and never want to do them again? That's not fair to yourself, to take away your enjoyment in something because you're failing to exercise self-control. When you enjoy the work you're putting yourself through, you can't seem to get enough of it. But a lot like a much loved sweater or blanket as a child, suddenly those things aren't so wonderful when you become in an adult. Granted that's much to do with emotional, mental, and physical growth as well as the inevitable wear and tear, the end result is still the same.
Not only do you stop enjoying the things you're doing, it's bad for you in other ways as well. Most people develop a poor habit to encourage them to continue on with a behavior they no longer enjoy. When I'm feeling burnt out on writing or any of the other things I do, I start to chain smoke. There go my lungs, as well as the passion and the intensity of really loving and enjoying what I'm doing. That and you can tell, the work you're doing might become sloppy, eventually, unacceptable.
The big deal here is that practice makes permanent, so make yourself practice pacing yourself so that you will always enjoy the things you do. Take the time to do them well, but not overly so. Moderate yourself, you'll be happier, you'll do better, and progress is always directly correlated with morale. So concentrate on helping yourself maintain high morale, it's in your best interest.
Love, Polly.
I love t0-do lists, probably more than the average person does. My lists look like they contain every single motion or action that one specific broad statement like "clean the bedroom" could be encompassed by. The longer the list gets the more fanatical I am about adding things and the less time I spend actually doing any real work. As the afternoon progresses, I find that I'm going to at some point just give up and start ignoring larger things and do the bare minimum.
It isn't a problem to do something thoroughly and in a manner you can be proud of, but it's a problem to start acting as OCD compulsive as the TV character Adrian Monk. You shouldn't have to bleach every section of your house minute spot by minute spot until you're one hundred percent sure that you've covered every single place. When you become so overly detailed, even the smallest jobs turn into Mt. Everest like adventures, where success and completion are things that few people in the world can obtain.
To really find success, it's important to pace yourself and force yourself to understand the merits of a job well done and not overly done. The difference seems like it's just in the details and that a job overly done is still a job well done. Well, when it's something that you're expecting to do repetitively, why would you want to burn yourself out and never want to do them again? That's not fair to yourself, to take away your enjoyment in something because you're failing to exercise self-control. When you enjoy the work you're putting yourself through, you can't seem to get enough of it. But a lot like a much loved sweater or blanket as a child, suddenly those things aren't so wonderful when you become in an adult. Granted that's much to do with emotional, mental, and physical growth as well as the inevitable wear and tear, the end result is still the same.
Not only do you stop enjoying the things you're doing, it's bad for you in other ways as well. Most people develop a poor habit to encourage them to continue on with a behavior they no longer enjoy. When I'm feeling burnt out on writing or any of the other things I do, I start to chain smoke. There go my lungs, as well as the passion and the intensity of really loving and enjoying what I'm doing. That and you can tell, the work you're doing might become sloppy, eventually, unacceptable.
The big deal here is that practice makes permanent, so make yourself practice pacing yourself so that you will always enjoy the things you do. Take the time to do them well, but not overly so. Moderate yourself, you'll be happier, you'll do better, and progress is always directly correlated with morale. So concentrate on helping yourself maintain high morale, it's in your best interest.
Love, Polly.
April 24, 2010
April 24, 2010: Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
Prom season is coming up and I remember so clearly how I spent the last six hours of my prom night. Belligerently drunk to a level I had been unable to reach ever before. But hey, free booze does that to a girl. Now, I didn't do anything stupid that night, and I didn't drive nor did anyone else. We were as responsible as you could consider a group of just graduated high schoolers, and that was fine by me. In fact, it's still fine by me, and it will always be fine by me.
I don't see a problem with letting loose one night a week, having some wine with a group of girlfriends, or enjoying a beer after a long day at the track. My tolerance is still fairly low, and by most standards I tend to be a lightweight when it comes down to it. Granted there are some nights where I go a little bit farther than I need to. Even though I cut myself off at a point others think is fairly early in the night, I still have my stories of nights where I had one too many.
The problem I have isn't so much with only underage drinkers, because it's something that even those who are of age do. The problem unfolds in two parts, first being the inability to exercise self-control, and secondly using alcohol to excuse bad behavior.
We all know that one person that goes above and beyond and makes a fool of themselves every time they end up drinking. They always have to drink too fast, too much, and end up doing something stupid that makes you think you're in high school again. They become "that one drunk girl / guy", and the truth is they really do know what they're doing, they just don't care. They think the story will be funny enough in the morning or whatever it is. Well, if this is you, please stop. You know that you don't have to do the things you're doing and that the ideas you're getting really aren't that great. Exercise some self-control and reign yourself in, you don't really need a baby sitter and you don't need to be the center of attention. If you've hit the point where you do, then you're heading on a fast track to being one of the persons that makes America a little less great.
My second issue is using alcohol to excuse poor behaviors, especially the behaviors you should have utilized self-control with and didn't. "I was drunk" or "I don't remember, I was sooo fucked up" is not an acceptable excuse for poor behavior. Even worse is when they say, "I know I shouldn't have kept going, but I did anyway". If you know you're at your limit, then stop. Not just for your dignity and composure, but there go your kidneys and liver, and I hope you enjoy having your stomach pumped.
I'd love to see a comeback of the times where sharing just a drink or two with some close friends in an intimate and private setting is how we're drinking. It should be something that brings us together on a more intimate level, not something that we do in excess of excess. Binge drinking until you vomit should stop being the trend, and responsibility and accountability should be held for going past your limits.
Love, Polly.
I don't see a problem with letting loose one night a week, having some wine with a group of girlfriends, or enjoying a beer after a long day at the track. My tolerance is still fairly low, and by most standards I tend to be a lightweight when it comes down to it. Granted there are some nights where I go a little bit farther than I need to. Even though I cut myself off at a point others think is fairly early in the night, I still have my stories of nights where I had one too many.
The problem I have isn't so much with only underage drinkers, because it's something that even those who are of age do. The problem unfolds in two parts, first being the inability to exercise self-control, and secondly using alcohol to excuse bad behavior.
We all know that one person that goes above and beyond and makes a fool of themselves every time they end up drinking. They always have to drink too fast, too much, and end up doing something stupid that makes you think you're in high school again. They become "that one drunk girl / guy", and the truth is they really do know what they're doing, they just don't care. They think the story will be funny enough in the morning or whatever it is. Well, if this is you, please stop. You know that you don't have to do the things you're doing and that the ideas you're getting really aren't that great. Exercise some self-control and reign yourself in, you don't really need a baby sitter and you don't need to be the center of attention. If you've hit the point where you do, then you're heading on a fast track to being one of the persons that makes America a little less great.
My second issue is using alcohol to excuse poor behaviors, especially the behaviors you should have utilized self-control with and didn't. "I was drunk" or "I don't remember, I was sooo fucked up" is not an acceptable excuse for poor behavior. Even worse is when they say, "I know I shouldn't have kept going, but I did anyway". If you know you're at your limit, then stop. Not just for your dignity and composure, but there go your kidneys and liver, and I hope you enjoy having your stomach pumped.
I'd love to see a comeback of the times where sharing just a drink or two with some close friends in an intimate and private setting is how we're drinking. It should be something that brings us together on a more intimate level, not something that we do in excess of excess. Binge drinking until you vomit should stop being the trend, and responsibility and accountability should be held for going past your limits.
Love, Polly.
April 23, 2010
April 23, 2010: Deliver what you promise.
We've all seen the commercial with the couple in bed separated by their lawyers. The point to the commercial is that whatever wireless company it is won't screw you over with contracts. I'm not going to get into how reading and clarifying a contract is your responsibility before you sign them today. (Even if it's something that drives me crazy, but still, I'm saving that for another day.)
Contracts used to be the way to force someone to keep their word legally, because you didn't trust them or because you couldn't be sure that their word would be kept in their absence of presence. And sometimes it was just to make sure that someone wasn't being slick with their word choice. They were just meant to be a binding legal document that showed each party AGREED to something.
I don't know where that started to change and when people started using contracts in just a malevolent manner. I'm not talking about people being stupid about signing things and not reading them and clarifying where they don't understand.
But contracts themselves are becoming more and more tricky to follow, and in a way they're forcing a lack of trust amongst ourselves. Even worse is when the agreement isn't followed through. If you can't agree to something on principle, then why would you agree to it? But this inability to be reliable when it comes to things that can be proven (i.e. legal contracts) is just another way of our unreliability as people manifesting.
Long gone are the days where a man's word was what he was worth, and for some reason just being able to say something even if you are completely aware that there is no way you can follow through is acceptable. Networking is such a great art now, even more than ever, because it comes down to finding the persons to connect with that will follow through with everything they say. Even worse is when we look to people around us, our family and friends that support us, and having them flake out on us. It's probably the number one pet peeve of most Americans and the biggest relationship-ender in the books aside from dishonesty and mistrust.
I'd really love to see us go back to a time when your word was everything, and you did your best to follow through with what you could. Reliability is something that we can't take for granted anymore, and we should be able to take each other at face value instead of putting everyone through tests and trials. If we all take one day to make a list of all the things we've ever promised and go through that list to finish the things we gave our word we would do, the world would function in a much more efficient manner. I'm tired of seeing people being disappointed because a persons word has to be tested, and it pains me to know that for every one person that manages to succeed a million more are disappointing. Following through has never been so important, and if we start small we can work big. Now is the time for us to start changing, because we've all seen how difficult life has become as a result of our current decline. Something to think about, how are you going to follow through with one thing today?
Love, Polly.
Contracts used to be the way to force someone to keep their word legally, because you didn't trust them or because you couldn't be sure that their word would be kept in their absence of presence. And sometimes it was just to make sure that someone wasn't being slick with their word choice. They were just meant to be a binding legal document that showed each party AGREED to something.
I don't know where that started to change and when people started using contracts in just a malevolent manner. I'm not talking about people being stupid about signing things and not reading them and clarifying where they don't understand.
But contracts themselves are becoming more and more tricky to follow, and in a way they're forcing a lack of trust amongst ourselves. Even worse is when the agreement isn't followed through. If you can't agree to something on principle, then why would you agree to it? But this inability to be reliable when it comes to things that can be proven (i.e. legal contracts) is just another way of our unreliability as people manifesting.
Long gone are the days where a man's word was what he was worth, and for some reason just being able to say something even if you are completely aware that there is no way you can follow through is acceptable. Networking is such a great art now, even more than ever, because it comes down to finding the persons to connect with that will follow through with everything they say. Even worse is when we look to people around us, our family and friends that support us, and having them flake out on us. It's probably the number one pet peeve of most Americans and the biggest relationship-ender in the books aside from dishonesty and mistrust.
I'd really love to see us go back to a time when your word was everything, and you did your best to follow through with what you could. Reliability is something that we can't take for granted anymore, and we should be able to take each other at face value instead of putting everyone through tests and trials. If we all take one day to make a list of all the things we've ever promised and go through that list to finish the things we gave our word we would do, the world would function in a much more efficient manner. I'm tired of seeing people being disappointed because a persons word has to be tested, and it pains me to know that for every one person that manages to succeed a million more are disappointing. Following through has never been so important, and if we start small we can work big. Now is the time for us to start changing, because we've all seen how difficult life has become as a result of our current decline. Something to think about, how are you going to follow through with one thing today?
Love, Polly.
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