Why am I here and what am I doing with this?
I feel like that's a great place to start, even if it's cliche. There isn't really anything exciting about me, I'm cause-less, and I'm currently stuck in a rut with life. But this last weekend at Willow Springs I saw a billboard out on the track right on the front straight. It read, "Honest Journalism" and the name of a website I can't remember for the life of me. But it made me think, maybe I should get to writing again. Like most aspiring writers I've always been told I'm gifted with words, but for me that's just writing the way I would speak. I've been told there is something poetic and powerful about what I write, and I always justified the goose bumps I get when I feel like I'm getting somewhere with talent. Truthfully, it's more to be because I like to write in the middle of the night when it's cold and no one is awake. I'm not a night owl by any means, but I find something calming about this process that even a long ramble can't beat. For anyone in my personal life, I realize how difficult that is to wrap your head around. I hope that in the end something comes from this. Either self-content, self-understanding, financial success, or maybe even justification that life as we know it, isn't over. I'll take any and all of them if I can. I'm self-serving by nature and that's more or less what we're all striving for in the evolution of our lives.
What are my expectations of myself and how can I meet them?
Writing every day is what most people would consider dedication. I find that I'm neither as dedicated nor as convicted as that. I intend to write something meaningful Monday-Friday, I am not looking for senseless rambling or a diary of my daily habits and schedule at this time in my life. I'm just as boring as I think I am, and it's only right that I save whoever comes across this at any time from knowing exactly what time I wake up to pee every morning. Fair is fair. I also realize that I will most likely not post every night, because let's face it. 3.30am is an unnacceptable time to be awake every night, and I'm usually far far into sleep by now. However, the magic of paper and pen have never eluded me and will be my amend to an inability to post every day. As a result, there may be three or four posts some nights with dates that do not match the post date. I figure I'll write what I can and type it all in later. I don't intend for this to be a date book, but more a way for me to struggle around life and find some meaning and understanding to the things that elude me.
Who am I?
A California Queen, simple as that. I do my best to uphold that moniker with all the spirit and life that I displayed while it was being coined. My journey through life has been one that captures all the vigor of youth, the wisdom of recollection and reflection, and the promise to continue onward in a similar fashion. I believe in morality and justice, ethics and social responsibility. I believe in old world consideration and etiquette and new age politics and social endeavors. You can call me Polly.
No comments:
Post a Comment