I'm as guilty of this as anyone else is, and I'm just as guilty of being nasty and spiteful in person. I can't say I'm the most graceful and level-headed person the world has ever come to know. But I can rest assured of two things. First, that there will always be a more awful person than me. And second, that there will always be growth in my life and that I will learn more and more grace and level-headedness as I get older and mature. I still have room to grow, and I always will. I can't beat myself up over my imperfections. But at the same time I don't want to take two steps back for every step I take forward.
It's important to remember that you really can be a bigger person, that you can apologize for being mean, rude, spiteful and immature. It's hard, and you don't have to mean it. That makes it a little more doable. But if you CAN mean it, that's so much the better for you.
Let's face it, two people with opposing views cannot both win an argument, and things only get worse when one person can't just sit down and shut their trap. You don't have to fight all day over a trivial matter that isn't the end of the world as we know it. You just have to swallow your pride and accept that just this one time, you were wrong. You're not stupid, ignorant, or retarded. Those are unfair. You were just wrong. And it's okay to be wrong, there is nothing to look down upon about being wrong.
Being wrong lets you grow, and let's you learn a bit more. Maybe you didn't understand all the complexities, or you just had an idea that grew it's own legs and tried to run. But either way, you need to be able to accept that you were wrong and stop looking for retribution. It's not about getting even, it's about getting over it.
Getting even doesn't solve problems, it just instigates more of them. Our lives are already full, what are we doing making it worse for ourselves? It just makes no sense, and that in itself should be enough to deter ourselves from going that route. Maybe getting even is part of the "getting over it" side, but the truth is if we just focus on getting over it instead we'll get there faster.
Adults should act like the adults that we are, and children should strive to mature themselves. Playground antics should end at the playground. Your life isn't over, your life just began.
Love, Polly.
